The Place I'll Return To Someday
by Saiph Nebula
Summary: Zidane thought he understood life and love, even going so far as to risk everything for his enemy. But now he realises that perhaps things aren't so simple - he's still looking for that place to belong, a place under threat from an ancient enemy...
1. A Dark Place

Chapter One: A Dark Place

I don't remember much from those moments; the ones I thought would be my last. The only real, clear memory I have is of two things. One was the pain, the _agony_. It was unlike anything I'd ever felt before; as if my skin was on fire and trying to peel clean off my bones to get away from the... the light that was coming from within me. I thought it was some crazy-ass 'near death' version of Trance at first. The fluctuation of power that comes with the will, the desire, to go on living. To fight and defend and _survive_. I was wrong. It was something else, something worse. A power I had never wanted yet was the very reason for my creation. Of course, I wouldn't fully understand what was happening to me until much later.

The other memory was of faces and voices. So real and close they could have been right there beside me as I clawed my way from the remains of the Iifa Tree. Mikoto doesn't agree, she thinks it was the raw power emanating from my body that burnt away a path for me to escape through, but I swear it was _them_ that kept me going. The voices of the friends I'd made over the past few months, the image of their faces ahead of me, urging me on. I had to survive. I _had_ to see them again. It was as simple as that. So why I chose to do what I did, to stay away... ah, those are thoughts that can be saved for later.

So, back to my 'almost demise'. I put one hand in front of the other and dragged my sorry ass forward, determined to get out of the predicament I had so naively thrown myself into.

Now, if I was honest with myself, I'd do it again. It would have been so easy to just walk away. I could have boarded the ship with the others... with Dagger... and said goodbye to the past. I can't help myself from wondering what my life would have been like if I hadn't stayed; if I'd remained blissfully ignorant of the dormant power I'd been endowed with from the day I took my first breath.

But I didn't. I listened to that voice in my head that always encouraged me to do the right thing, the _stupid_ thing. I guess I'll never learn – which is something that's been pointed out to my grinning face on numerous occasions (there are just some things that don't need changing).

I'd try to explain my decision to go back for him, Kuja, but I'd just be repeating myself later on down the line. Besides, if you know about all the stupid, reckless things I did just for the sake of doing them, surely I shouldn't need to explain my mind-set any further. Someone was in trouble, and I wanted to help.

… Yeah. If only things were that simple, eh?

So where should I begin? I already mentioned the light and the Iifa Tress collapsing in on itself. It's now no more then a dead clump of matter, twisted and deformed against the mist-less sky. That place gave me the creeps before I knew it's true purpose, but even now, when I travel back and forth between the Black Mage Village and Conde Petite (who's villagers had so boldly refused to leave when the Tree began going insane on them – they still don't believe my story about Garland, Kuja and Necron. They still worship the wooden carcass left behind as a holy object of reverence – and as long as they still trade with the Mage's and Genome's, what's the point in arguing?).

"For the sake of Truth" as Mikoto would, and did, point out. She was overruled by her big brother though, of course.

Anyway, as I was saying. By some miracle I got away with my life – though my body was all but ruined. It took a month before I could get out of bed, meaning I had no way to escape the endless questions fired at me from all corners by the other Genomes and even some of the Mage's. Though in retrospect, I kind of enjoyed that time. I didn't take much notice then, but it was almost like... watching children grow up. Even the Genomes with fully grown bodies were like children. Afraid but curious of everything around them. Yeah, I was the 'cool older brother' – covered in bandages and plaster up to my eyeballs as I remained bed-ridden (without a single nurse in sight. Typical). The Mage's healed me with their magics as best they could, but it soon became apparent that, one, whatever had happened to me was well beyond their power to heal. And two, they were... well, growing weaker. One by one they slowed... and stopped.

Vivi was the last to go.

If there's anything in this world I'm glad of, it's the fact that I got to meet that little guy. He always said I'd taught him so much, I wonder if he ever knew how much I'd learnt from him in return.

So I guess that's as a good a place as any; I'll begin my story from the day Mikoto found me at death's door at the edge of the Iifa Tree's roots...

_Once upon a time, there was a man. There was a man... who didn't know where he belonged any more..._

* * *

It was dark. Real dark. Not the kind that suggested a late hour, but the sort that made you wonder if you'd suddenly been struck blind.

I could feel movement around me, like snakes slithering over each other. But the texture against my skin was too rough to belong to any animal. It was then, possibly only seconds after waking from whatever coma-like state I must have been in, that I began to remember...

...the terrible shrieking... the crashing of the Iifa Tree imploding in on itself. It was if it were a living being, screaming in protest as it met its end.

The noise of it all was still echoing in my ears; I was just unaware of it until I began thinking again. Have you ever found yourself slap-bang in the middle of a thunder storm? Or perhaps hit by particularly powerful 'Thundaga' spell? I'd done both. And the endless explosions going on in my head were a thousand times worse. I couldn't hear anything else, even as I felt my mouth open and let out an agonised cry. It tore it's way out of my throat, which was the only sign that I was actually making any sort of sound.

I _really_ began to freak out then.

I couldn't _see_, I couldn't _hear_. I could barely feel all my fingers and toes! I was also trapped, like a bug beneath the foot of a mean, sadistic kid. Writhing and wriggling just made the pain worse. I could have been lying in the middle of a burning inferno for all I knew.

I'm not ashamed to say that I began crying. I honestly thought I'd died alongside Kuja and was in Hell. It wasn't just weak, self-pitying tears that fell from my eyes. Rivers of salty water streamed from my eyes as I let sob after sob wrack my entire body. It didn't help the pain, I can tell you. But at that moment I made the most of simply being able to feel. Death was not what I'd expected, but that pain was mine. It let me know that I was still... there. I existed. Wherever I was.

I'm not sure how long this went on for. When you can't see or hear it's hard to keep track of something so fleeting, so... insignificant as time.

I did eventually realise that I wasn't just sobbing. I was speaking.

"_DaggerDaggerDaggerDaggerDaggerDagger"_

Yeah. I've seen grown men break down and cry for their mothers before (Marcus was all stoic silences and heavy glares, but he was also one mean son of a gun when it came down to it). I never really understood the fact that they weren't necessarily crying from fear, but loss.

I was honestly facing the possibility that I would never see her again. Never get to say all I'd so stupidly tried to cover up with boyish bravado and flirting when I'd had the chance to tell her...

Well. You know.

So I remained there like that for hours upon hours. Sobbing out names I couldn't even hear myself say. It's probably safe to assume that I went a little bit loopy while buried under the Iifa's roots. Until that glorious moment came when I saw the light at the end of a very long tunnel.

My first thought was, 'Well, I can't be dead then'. Not if I was looking down the great hall so many believed to be the last walk you'd ever take. By that point, I was pretty delirious and more then happy to take that final stroll. Anything to stop the pain, the sheer terror of undiluted solitude.

By Shiva, look at me. Getting all poetic over a little sunshine.

'Cause that's what it was. Someone up there had finally found me. The eternal darkness wasn't due to my confinement in some hellish pit... well, sort of. I'd been buried pretty deep underground after somehow getting to the edge of the Tree. The only reason I hadn't suffocated was because the roots had intertwined above me, creating an oxygen filled bubble with a small enough airway leading above ground that I didn't asphyxiate. Now, that was the reason for my blindness. My inability to hear was a whole other matter. Damage caused by the collapse had permanently wrecked my hearing. I was deaf... but alive.

"_How am I alive...?"_

Apparently, those were my first words when Mikoto dragged me free Gaia's earth. I didn't hear her response (obviously) and promptly blacked out.

And that, ladies and gentleman, is the beginning of my story.

* * *

**Disclaimer: I own no right to Final Fantasy and it's characters. All ownership belongs to Square. **

AN: I always wondered why Zidane stayed away before returning to Dagger at the end of FF9. I guess it could have taken that long for him to recover, but surely he'd get in touch with his old friends somehow just to let them know he was alive!? Anyway, this is my take on my Zidane didn't go running back to Alexandria the second he could. Prepare yourself for some soul-searching and general angsting Zidane style! Which you know means he won't go all 'boo-hoo woe is me' over it *coughCloudcough* (Just kidding).


	2. How It Began

Chapter Two: How It Began

It was almost three weeks until I woke up again. I dreamt a lot though. I probably don't need to go into detail as to what – or who – featured in my dreams, so I'll skip right ahead to when my eyes first fluttered open and the world actually made some sort of sense to me again.

It was bright. Too bright. After being trapped in darkness for who-knows-how-long, simple sunlight was enough to have my eyes burning in protest as I tried to figure out where I was. That was when I heard it, a sigh of relief tainted by exasperation.

"You have woken. I shall summon the tribe's leader..."

My voice came out as barely more then a hoarse whisper as I recognised the voice. A female. My heart leapt in the few seconds I mistook my 'sister's' voice for another I secretly yearned to hear instead, "_Mikoto_?" I croaked, as confused as a chocobo chasing its own tail-feathers. Through the blurry space between my lashes I saw her draw closer to my side, her face bearing down on mine so it was almost in focus. It was then that I became aware of two things; the first was the jarring ache sweeping through my entire body, from toes to eyebrows. The second was that I could hear again!

"I'm... healed?" I forced out, cringing even in my injured state at how cliché the words sounded, but obviously Mikoto wasn't about to break into joyous dance and song at my survival – thank the Eidolons. And had my entire face not felt like one giant bruise at the time, I would probably have tried to rise my eyebrows to convey my surprise and general disbelief that my ticker was still a-thumping beneath my sore and battered chest.

The Mikoto-shaped blob in front of me seemed to tilt her head to the side for a moment before sighing once more. She didn't say anything though. I expect she knew I wouldn't be able to remember much over the coming two weeks, though that memory always stuck with me clearer then any other.

The healing was a slow process; very, _very_ slow. I can safely say I hated every damn moment of it, being forced to lie in that bed as the Mages attempted to fix me up with magic and potions they'd gathered from Conde Petit. Apparently my hospitalisation meant the owner of the Item Shop remained knee deep in Gil as I recovered. Still, I appreciated it as soon as I could start thinking in coherent sentences again. I can quite clearly remember expressing the first thought I actually had besides 'Ow, son of a Nymph, that _hurts_' and my whole, 'Praise Gaia, I'm ALIVE!' moment. I'd asked Mikoto (who rarely left my side unless it was to order about the other Genomes and Mages) how long it'd been since the Iifa Tree collapsed, imploded, _died_ – whatever you want to call it.

"One month" she'd told me calmly.

"_A month!" _I thought, "_Dagger's gonna be pissed..."_

Of course, I hadn't yet gathered enough sense to wonder _why_ Mikoto hadn't informed the others of my survival or whereabouts, the fact that none of them were there at my side just didn't register for some reason. Perhaps Mikoto knew I'd eventually need some time... or perhaps she just hadn't wanted them to know at all. Mikoto's all about the secrets and hidden agendas. It really drives a wedge into our brother-sister relationship, but at least she hasn't tried to kill me yet. Not that I haven't driven her close to it, or so she says. It seems Mikoto is impervious to my wily charms.

So that first month flew by as I slowly began to regain the use of my... everything. Meaning that by the time I was able to sit and up and move around by myself it was late April. I can remember waking up and smelling fresh rain on the trees outside my window. The Inn had been turned into a make-shift hospital of sorts; only Mikoto and myself ever seemed to use it unless some of the Mages were attending to my needs. What I would've given for a nurse in one of those short shafts they wear, or a mage with experience in white magicks... a mage with the softest brown hair and earthy, warm eyes...

It was around this time that I had some unexpected visitors. Three days later I woke early in the morning as Mikoto and Black Mage Number 163 (I'll never get used to addressing them by numbers) arrived to dose me up with my daily order of potion. The stuff can work miracles - restoring a person from near death to good health again - but too much taken at once can result in some nasty side-effects. Add a little of Mikoto's magic into the works and I was feeling stronger and stronger every day.

Now, just to side-line for a moment, accepting a potentially dangerous brew from Mr 163 always made me nervous. He was the owner and sole keeper of the village's own item shop. He also boasts the worst short-term memory I'd ever seen. Have you ever tasted out of date potion? It's like milk that's been left in the sun for a month. After one too many nasty incidents involving projectile vomit, Mikoto took it upon herself to oversee every aspect of my recovery; even bathing, which was scaring enough with two Black Mages who'd never seen the human anatomy in full before. I didn't need my little sister observing _that _debacle_. _

Back to my visitors. Once Mikoto had finished up with a few strengthening spells and analysed every aspect of my bed-ridden condition, I was deemed well-enough to actually leave the inn-come-hospital for a few hours. The prospect of freedom made me all too eager to leap from the bed and dress – which I did alone regardless of Mr 163's attempts to 'assist me'. The Mages were like children really; eager, curious, innocent... and a little annoying after a while. Vivi was never so...

...

Anyway. I'd just pulled my shirt over my head and was cursing under my breath as every ache and bruise made itself known, when I saw a pair of bright blue eyes peering at me from the doorway. I blinked for a moment as two faces that looked uncannily similar, even for the genomes, continued to stare up at me with something like uncertain awe on their faces. One of them giggled as the other elbowed them in the ribs.

"Er... can I... help?" I asked uncertainly. Their expressions were making me very nervous, and I was suddenly reminded of the way I'd sometimes catch Eiko watching me when she thought no one was looking.

The one who'd giggled now shrieked in surprise, stood up straight from his or her (I was still working on picking up on the gender differences, they were all so damn _alike_) crouched position behind the thick red curtain, turned tail – literally - and fled, leaving their silent companion to continue watching me even as I limped forwards and pulled the drapes back.

The genome was... tiny. Oddly fragile looking regardless of the fact that each and every one of their – my – species was designed and manufactured to perfection. The freaky thing was... I felt like I was looking into a mirror of my own past. Here was this kid (I assumed) looking up at me with the same bewilderment and wonder I'd once felt when looking up to my Tantalus brothers. I should have been used to the fact that we all looked so similar, but you try wondering around only to see a dozen different versions of yourself staring back with either wonderment or wariness and a desire to _run_.

The genomes didn't take well to change apparently. Even with Mikoto as their guide it took a while for a lot of them to feel comfortable around me, as well as living in the village. I guess we'd all hoped that their similarities to the Mages would help them settle in, but they still struggled to adapt as well to their new home as their shelterers had. Still, moving from Terra to Gaia... culture shock! I think I would probably have worried about them a lot more if I hadn't met my two little visitors that day.

I'd kind of expected the second genome to run away too, just like its startled companion. Obviously I was left to deal with a really uncomfortable silence when the kid just... watched me.

Nervous, I scratched the back of my neck where my overgrown hair had begun irritating the tender skin, padded my bare right foot against the ground, and tried to think of something to say.

"... Hi"

Mater of conversation there. The blank stare continued.

"... I er, didn't mean to scare your... friend"

The kid's head tipped ever so slightly to the side and finally began to speak. "Friend?"

He echoed the word as if he'd never heard it before, and I was inclined to think that he probably hadn't. His voice was... blank. He didn't seem to have the same presence as Mikoto and it was weird being face to face with an 'ordinary' genome again. For some reason, I was able to tell he was male. The slight difference in facial features and voice weren't apparent to me at the time, I just... seemed to recognise him. Some instinctive thing I suppose.

"Yeah" I nodded, trying not to let the weirdness get to me, "_Friend_, you know, someone you... spend time with and... _like_..."

"It's only to be expected that we spend time together, this village is so small. Geographically it's impossible not to"

I cleared my throat. If all the genomes were going to be like this, perhaps I'd need a few more days rest. "I guess... but hey, you don't seem to hate it... not that you really seem to like it either"

"I feel no particular affinity for my peers. We are one and the same, why should I prefer individuals to the whole?"

"Are you serious?" I finally burst out, unable to restrain my disbelief any longer. I mean, the Mages made _friends_, and they'd been built to be killing machines!

The kid genuinely seemed confused, even going so far as to finally change his facial expression by pulling his eyebrows together on his brow, "Of course, why wouldn't I be?"

I crossed my arms, uncrossed them, scratched the back of my head and finished my short display by pounding my fist into my palm, "Jeez, this is all like some bad joke. I thought spending time here, without Garland controlling you all any more, you might... loosen up!"

It bothered me, it really did. But I didn't have much time to dwell on my irritation since the strangest thing seemed to happen as I spoke. Though his creased brow smoothed out as his expression blanked out, leaving him looking as empty as a well-tanned monolith, I was still able to tell that what I'd said upset him. Badly. All of a sudden I was reminded of Ruby and how would get mad but refuse to admit it. She'd take on this haughty air, turn up her nose at us all and just act as if everything was normal, regardless of the killer aura she gave off. I suppose it was all about the vibes, which was why I found myself raising both hands in apology and attempting to dig my way upwards.

"We were never under Garland's control," he cut in before I could utter a word, his voice lacking any inflection but still managing to sound cold. Cold and kind of pissed. "We each posses the ability to reason and apply logic, to understand and question when necessary. We have our free will, which you seem to hold with such high regard. Our choices to exercise it or not are part of that free will. Do not question our ways, _ignorant one_"

That made me raise my eyebrows, "Ignorant one!?" I repeated, surprise and amusement threading through my voice, "Listen kid, I'm a little older then you and just because you can throw around a few fancy words-"

Apparently, that was the straw that broke the chocobo's back.

"I am not a child!" he shouted. Actually shouted! With reddened cheeks and fisted hands, he seemed to shake in front of me as if about to spill over with rage. And then... it just drained away. But not before a certain someone had to have their say over the whole thing.

"Child you've a lot of nerve to speak to him like that!"

Mikoto. Immediately my hands were back up in a defensive position as I expected another verbal attack. Imagine my surprise when the girl a whole head shorter then me entered the room with an expression of indignant fury and turned, not to me, but the boy I'd been talking to. He gazed up at her looking, dare I say it, _sheepish_. I had to hand it to him though, he never lost that composed air of superiority even as Mikoto began to chew him out over his 'unrespectable outburst'. Something about 'elders' and 'manners' – it got my back up more then his little dig about being ignorant. After a few minutes of watching him passively accept her words, I had to step in.

"_Relax_ Miki!"

Her eyes turned to me with such an incredulous expression in reaction to my new nickname. I had to laugh. "_Miki_!" she squeaked, placing her hands on her hips in a way I that reminded me of a certain other teenager with a slight temper problem. I interrupted before she could take breath to begin again.

"You don't have to be so hard on him, he hasn't done anything wrong" I pointed out. Which was true. In fact it was nice to see that beneath the collected exterior, there was something fiery underneath. Perhaps the genomes weren't as vacant as I'd assumed.

"He should know better then to speak to you that way," was her cold reply.

Like most things, I completely missed the way she said 'you', as if I was somebody important. I just waved it off with a grin and put it down to the fact that I'd nearly _died _very recently. She must have thought I was still quite frail.

"Forget it!" I assured both him and her, "We're cool, right?"

Again with the confused blinking, "Are you cold?"

Even Mikoto got a chuckle out of the one. Well, it was comforting to know I'd have some sort of company while I was there. Fiddling with my increasingly annoying hair, I vaguely wondered if there was anyone in the village I'd trust to come at me with a pair of scissors to give the mess a good snip. I had to smile at myself just for considering the idea, and instead decided to search out a band to keep it back with.

Stepping out of the inn for the first time in a month, I took in the sight of the ragtag collection of outcasts and felt a strange warmth overcome me that had nothing to do with the early spring sun. I wouldn't recognise it for a while, but that feeling was one I'd searched for and found in many places over the years. And it was one that would cause a lot more trouble then I could ever have anticipated. It's funny, how Mikoto seemed to know it would happen before I even realised that what I was feeling... was the comfort and affection that came with looking at a persons home.


	3. So Much To Learn

Chapter Three: So Much To Learn

It was warm outside. Much warmer then I remembered from the last time I'd been in the village. When had that been exactly? With everything that had been happening, losing track of time had been easy. The days bleed into weeks, turning into months. I made a mental note to ask someone the date before realising that the genomes wouldn't have a clue and the mages probably didn't keep a record of such things.

Then of course, I remembered Mr 288. He'd always been more 'aware' then the others. He probably had a rough idea at least. Not bothered by the fact that I had no shoes on my feet and my shirt was only loosely laced shut, I crossed the small bridge and cut through the back of the village, headed towards the cemetery. I briefly wondered if there would be any new graves since my last visit; the Mages were slowly reaching their... limits, after all.

The thought depressed me, and I began to think of Vivi. Vivi... and then the others.

I would like to tell you I felt guilty for not thinking of them sooner, for not trying to contact them as soon as I could. But I can't. I can only say that the decisions I came to make were done with the best of intentions. I needed the time to figure things out... we all did.

Bypassing the rabble of mages and genomes had been easy. Escaping the ever-watchful eyes of my sister... not so much. I turned to find her following closely and simply smiled as I felt those eyes, exactly the same shade and shape as my own, burning into my back.

"Listen, Miki-"

"Do _not_ use that ridiculous name with me. I am _Mi_-_ko_-_to_"

I had to laugh as she spelt her name with emphasis on each syllable. "Whatever you say, _Miki._"

In one quick moment I suddenly began to understand all the ribbing and teasing between my Tantalus brothers. I'd always mistaken it for some macho dominance thing, especially between Blank and Marcus, who were so close yet so different. Watching the way Mikoto narrowed her eyes and fixed me with a look colder then Esto Gaza's snowy mountains, I was overwhelmed with an inexplicable... _fondness_. Apparently annoying the heck out of her was the way to properly express this. People are complex like that. I don't think she ever really minded the nickname anyway. She got used to it eventually. Either that or she just got tired of telling me her full name over and over!

"Is that mage still here. The boss-like one?" I checked, finding myself hoping that he was still alive and well.

"The Cemetery's Guardian, yes."

Trust Mikoto to give him a _title_. I nodded, thrust my hands in my pockets and carried on walking. "Let's pay him a visit, I've got weeks of news to catch up on."

"_I_ can inform you of the recent events for the past month-"

"Yeah, thanks Miki," I practically heard her teeth grinding behind me, "But I wouldn't mind spending some time with, you know, _other_ _people_. No offence."

I heard a sharp sniff from behind me and peeked over my shoulder, quickly worried that I had managed to upset her. Of course I forgot Mikoto was made of tougher stuff, since she merely shrugged and gestured forward.

"Very well then, your choice of company is your own."

"Er... thanks?"

She left, headed back towards the inn. I hoped she wasn't going back to yell at the kid again but brushed away the thought as soon as it came. That boy had seemed perfectly capable of holding his own. Besides, I didn't think either of them would appreciate me sticking my nose in where it wasn't wanted.

The small steps and platform overlooking the graveyard quickly came into view along with the mage I'd always found easiest to recognise, he was hard to miss with his ornately carved staff and peaceful presence, watching over dead and living alike. I smiled with genuine warmth and offered a wave. He nodded in greeting, raising his staff to beckon me to him.

"It is good to see you mobile once more," his familiar, serene voice greeted me kindly.

"Hey, it's good to _be_ mobile," I grinned, now suddenly wishing I'd bothered to find some shoes before leaving the inn as the pathway's stones dug into the soles of my feet. "Thought I'd come say 'howdy.'" I explained.

He suddenly let out the strangest, girlish giggle as I spoke; making my eyes widen in bewilderment. It wasn't until I saw him shift his arm to reveal a small bundle of yellow hair and white fabric that I realised the laugh had come from a genome hidden under his arm.

"Oh, hi!" I grinned, "You're the kid from my room, right?"

The genome nodded, smiling bashfully. "We didn't mean to wake you. We just wanted to look."

"Eh," I shrugged, "No big deal, I was already up. You guys don't have to sneak around if you want to talk to me you know."

Mr 288 looked down at his side, his eyes seeming to glow a little brighter as he took in that pinked round face. "Young Chiyo here has a taste for adventuring," he informed me.

I nodded, then blinked. "Wait, Chiyo? You have a name? Is she like us?" I asked, turning to ask Mikoto before remembering she hadn't followed, "I mean, me and Mikoto..." The name Kuja went unsaid, hanging in the air like a ghost until Mr 288 dismissed the memory of my late brother with a wave of his gloved hand.

"No," Mr 288 shook his head, hat flopping side to side, "But I felt the naming of this planet's life-forms was a tradition for Gaians. I thought it might help them settle in here... but the idea has been met with some opposition. However, Chiyo insisted I choose one for her."

"'Chi-yo'... cute. It suits you." I winked, causing her to look up at me with the widest, most endearing smile I'd ever seen. Whoa.

Mr 288 chuckled, his large gloved hand coming to rest on top of her small head. "Chiyo is apparently the youngest of the genomes, along with her brother of course."

Figures. She was easily the smallest of the lot...

Wait, _brother_?

"You have a _brother_? I didn't think genomes had, you know, siblings?"

This was just getting confusing. I'd have to make sure I spoke to Mikoto about how things had worked back on Terra. I mean, they'd never seemed to have families or anything. Not in the conventional sense found on Gaia. Without parents how could genomes have siblings?

Chiyo sighed in a scarily Eiko-like fashion as she rolled her eyes, "Silly. We were all made the same, you were simply given a... head-start! My brother and I were designed to be genetically similar, created from the same cell to produce two life forms instead of one."

Huh, well they had one thing in common if not attitude; the were both damn _wordy_. "Twins?" I speculated.

"I believe that is the term,"

I glanced at Mr 288, who had been watching our short exchange with an unreadable expression. Of course, it was always hard to know just what expressions the mages were wearing, what with the not really having a face... I'd always been curious about Vivi's not-so-solid physique. The world was full of freaky things though, so I hadn't dwelt on it too much. I guess it made sense now, knowing what they were made from. But the almost fatherly aura that surrounded him as Chiyo remained clung to his side was... interesting.

He must have noticed the fact that I was having a bit of trouble understanding what was going on since he gently nudged the girl at his side and sent her on her way with instructions to alert the rest of her kin to my recovery. I tried to stop them making a fuss, the idea of being interrogated by the rest of the village was enough to make me feel a desperate urge to crawl back under my covers and sleep for another week. Regardless of my improvement I was still feeling drained. Perhaps I'd look up Mikoto and wrangle another strengthening spell out of her.

Chiyo dashed past me with a shy smile, eyes bright with excitement. For some reason I knew instinctively that only spelt trouble for me over the coming few days.

Shrugging my shoulders as I sidled up to Mr 288's side, I matched his pensive gaze as we looked across the graveyard to the sun hanging at its highest point in the sky.

"I expect you have many questions," he began quietly, almost as if having to provide any answers was a burden to him.

"You'd think so, wouldn't you," I told him, "For some reason I just... I don't know. Perhaps this is some near-death epiphany thing. I feel a little weird, to be honest. You think I have potion-poisoning?"

The Mage chuckled, shaking his head tolerantly. "Do you feel at peace here?"

I considered his question, knowing he meant more then was asked. Was it possible that after all I'd discovered about my origins that I could ever feel truly at home on Gaia? It was something that had plagued me back on Terra, before I first met Garland. The feeling of not belonging was only made worse after I'd spoken with my... creator. I'd felt like a freak, less worthy of life because of how I'd come to be. It had taken a lot for me to snap out of my short psychosis; those few hours in Bran Bal had been my darkest. If the others hadn't been there to remind me that it was what we choose to do with life, not how we come about it, that really mattered... I dread to think what I could've become. Maybe I'd never be as twisted with hatred and bitterness as Kuja, but I'd so easily lost sight of who I was - who I thought I was.

I looked down from the sky to the exotic plants nesting between graves, "I don't think that's what I feel, exactly."

Mr 288 didn't respond, but waited patiently for me to go on. Unfortunately, I couldn't. I realise now that from the moment I'd called forth the power to survive the Iifa Tree's implosion, I'd unlocked certain forgotten gifts imbued to me by Garland and the Sleeping Souls of Terra. That day, stood with the sky open above me and the land solid and hot beneath my bare feet, had only been the beginning.

I wonder if it would have been better for us all if I'd simply died alongside Kuja, instead of returning to cause so much pain...

* * *

Discliamer: I own no rights to final fantasy, all rights to Square.

Note: Whoa, sorry about the wait. Anyone still there? I promise to pick it up, but the interaction with Chiyo and Mr 288 stumped me a little. This is version number three! Reviews greatly appreciated. Next chapter: Zidane gets mobbed by the genomes!


	4. Getting Worse

Chapter Four: Getting Worse.

I had suddenly been given a lot to think about. Something that rarely went well for me since thinking had never been my strongest virtue. Mr 288 had pointed out something I'd rather have happily ignored... for a while at least. But he was right. Something in me felt different. _I_ felt different.

Don't get me wrong. I didn't feel as if there was some sudden transformation or personality transplant, I assumed it was just the result of everything that had happened since all the craziness began when I kidnapped Dagger. I had, for better or for worse, _grown up._

It was this change, amongst other things, that was what helped me make my decision to stay in the Black Mage Village. Temporarily, of course. The real cruncher had been the first conversation I'd had with Mr 288 since the Iifa Tree's implosion - that was what really got the whole thing rolling.

"As I feel compelled to guide the mages in their short lives, don't you feel the same responsibility for your kinsmen?" Mr 288 had asked me, his eyes glowing a dim shade of gold.

I remember thinking back to Chiyo and her brother, and to all the faces of the genomes who looked so lost and disconnected as they wandered the village, lacking any real purpose or direction. Sure, they had Mikoto to watch over them as she had in Bran Bal, but she was about as familiar with Gaia as Cinna was with soap.

"I do want to help them," I'd said without hesitation, "Of course I do. I want to show the genomes there's more to life then this. There's a whole world out there for them to find, to become a part of. The village is great – don't think I'm not grateful for putting us up here – but they can't stay forever. Their lives would be exactly like they were back in Bran Bal. They were just existing... not _living_."

I know, it was a 'pass the tissues moment'. Don't judge me for it.

Anyway, this sudden monologue of self-discovery poured from nowhere, but each word was honest. And I think... maybe a bit naïve. I was comparing the whole genome situation with my own experiences; with Vivi, Dagger, Eiko, Amarant – the whole crew. We'd all been through a lot together and, in my opinion, come out the other side all the better for it. We'd all learnt something new and life-changing whether we'd wanted the knowledge or not. But that was what life was about. I wouldn't be like Garland. Wouldn't dictate their lives for them, but show them that it was okay for them too choose for themselves. No more of this 'empty vessel' crap...

I wasn't surprised by the sense of calm and purpose that came over me then; something just seemed to click into place. I think I already knew that I'd made the decision a long time ago to stick with them until they were adjusted to life on Gaia well enough that I wouldn't feel like a total jerk for taking off on them. After all, we were family. Sure, I had other commitments and things left to take care of. But I had plenty of time now that there wasn't anyone flying around trying to destroy worlds and start wars.

Or so I thought.

Now, it was during all this... 'soul searching' I guess, that something else came to mind. I'd been thinking about how I'd explain my extended absence once I returned to the guys back in Alexandria when the image of Eiko's furious little face suddenly morphed into a slightly lighter, blue-eyed one.

I turned from my position, lounging on the steps with my face and chest bare to the hot sun, to look at Mr 288. "Can I ask you a few questions about the Genomes? You know, how they handled settling in and stuff. They still seem pretty tense about the whole the thing," the kid's angry red face back at the inn had been such a contrast to his sister's, "but a few them are kind of..."

"Different?" Mr 288 provided.

There was that word again. "Yeah. What's up with that?"

"It is a phenomenon I have already discussed with your sibling," he told me almost dismissively. I assumed he had no answer for me then, "She seemed greatly disturbed by certain behavioural changes occurring recently."

"She would," I snorted. Mikoto was way too up-tight, I'd have to talk to her about relaxing every now and again. Maybe recommend she find a hobby.

"They are afraid to change."

Mr 288 still had his back to me as he stared at the closest, most ornate grave. But I was still able to hear him clearly - his words _and_ the tone of his voice. The sun suddenly felt a little colder as I fiddled with a loose stone in the path.

"It's a scary thing," I shrugged. I would know, after all.

Now, have you ever had a perfectly normal conversation with someone and still felt that ominous tingly sensation run down your spine like a trail of creepy little spiders. That was the vibe I was quickly feeling between us.

"That is true. But change necessitates change. Have you considered what will happen if the genomes fail to adapt to life here on Gaia?"

Well that was obvious, or so I thought at the time. I'd believed that if the Mages could do it then the genomes would fit in even easier, especially without any history of, well, _bloody massacres_ to get them off on the wrong foot with the rest of Gaia.

Flawed logic – I know. I wasn't really looking at the big picture.

"That's why I'm sticking around, to show them how!"

He sighed then, his large shoulders slumping.

"Come on man," I said uncomfortably, "You're bringing me down from being able to _walk_ again. It's an unappreciated ability you know."

He didn't seem to hear me. "I thought I could lead the Mages into a better time."

Something told me we were heading into dangerous waters. Looking back, I should probably have been able to figure out what was going on – or going to happen, I should say – from his sudden downer.

He continued speaking as if no one were around to hear him, as if he were pouring out his heart and soul to the graves he seemed to cherish so much. "At least, for the short period we have left... I don't know why I am different, why I can understand the complexities of life to a fuller extent then they. Now I understand it is no blessing, but a curse. I understand we will never belong in Gaia. We are doomed by our very birth to live in hiding, as outcasts, forever shamed by our past misdeeds."

Remember how thinking had never been a great quality of mine? Well, neither is tact.

I blinked bemusedly at his back. His hunched shoulders made it look like he was caving in on himself in slow motion. "That's flan-crap," I exclaimed with a considerable lack of sensitivity. Hey, I'd never been one to sit around and mope when things looked bleak. (Well, maybe just once or twice.) So I just did what came naturally and said what I really thought. Usually it either worked or I ended up with something thrown at my head – and in this case it was the former, thankfully. His staff didn't look like it would've been comfortable lodged in certain places.

"You've taken what skills and... and knowledge you have and made yourselves a nice home, in a place where no one is judging you for anything other then _who you are_," I pointed out, "You're _good people_. True, the dwarfs aren't exactly the sort I'd choose as neighbours or invite to tea and crumpets, but you and the Mages deserve this place, this... peaceful life. You know... you're... _nice_."

What? I couldn't exactly turn around and say, "Oh yeah, show yourself in Lindblum again and you're likely to end up as chocobo feed." But I meant every word as far as their worth went. The Mages – considering what they were born for - were kind and gentle, if not a little socially awkward. But we're all flawed in our own special way. It made them, hell, _endearing_.

"People are just afraid of what they don't understand," I went on a little lamely, "But _I_ know better. So screw whatever voice in your head is making you get down on yourself. For such a smart fella', you're talking a load of crap."

Honestly, I was a little concerned for my safety as he remained frozen in silence; hopefully thinking over the good intentions in my words before cursing me or something.

He turned to me, slowly. I don't think I'll ever forget how he looked then. It's still clear in my mind now. The glow of his eyes was a soft shade of white-gold, his shoulders drew back from their slumped position and squared off almost proudly. He seemed to grow taller for a moment. Like how I remember Baku used to look to me when I was just a kid. And when he spoke his voice was calm, gentle, not much more then a whisper; like he was finally seeing clearly all he'd made for himself and the Mages.

"It _is_ good, isn't it."

"Your damn right," I nodded, crossing my arms over my chest, "So no more of that rubbish, or else next time I'll skip the pep-talk and just beat some sense into you!"

I was pretty sure I wouldn't be able to, what with the state I was in of course. And I'm also pretty sure he knew it. He did seem to relax a little, even though he ended up spacing out and staring across the graveyard in a way that made it difficult to feel comfortable being alone with him.

But that wasn't even close to being the weirdest part of my day.

Deciding to leave Mr 288 with some apparently much need alone time, I told him I'd come back after hunting down something to eat (I was starving now the potions were wearing off) and headed back toward the village. I was busy mulling over everything he'd said and all the things I'd come to realise, which was probably why I forgot to avoid the main hubbub of the village and wandered across the the front of the Item Shop, instead of sliding round the back.

What was waiting for me was enough to stop me mid-stride.

I was greeted by the slightly tanned faces of every single genome in the village, all watching me with mixed expressions. Some were kinder then others – I easily spotted Chiyo hastily pushing between everyone's legs to get to the front of the group – most looked simply curious, whereas others were wary, even a little guarded.

The silence that followed was... creepy.

"Erm...?" I said, just to break the endless quiet. My voice seemed to break whatever spell had come over them all, since not a second later, they charged.

A barrage of arms, hands and faces swallowed me whole as I tried to back up, almost falling over my own tail.

"So he really _did_ survive-"

"It's not possible-"

"The legends are true!"

"I _told_ you, didn't I!"

"Someone owes me five gil-"

"But he looks just like us, how can he be-"

"That's _my_ tail you're grabbing, fool!"

I've had my experiences with mobs of young woman trying to grab various parts of me. Okay, well, just two or three. And they _had_ mistaken me for a slightly more successful Lindblum actor at the time. But just then there was nothing more frightening then being frisked by a pack of inquisitive genomes who had no sense of personal space.

I had no idea what was going on, and I'll admit I panicked a little. Until I saw a flash of hot pink from the corner of my eye.

"Mikoto!" I wailed, tripping on one of the smaller genomes and landing painfully on my butt, "Get 'em orf me!"

A succession of sudden thunderous clashes punctured my already suffering ear-drums, but it was enough to get the attention of the genomes for a few moments while I tried to escape.

I stood in the middle of the throng, my shirt ripped over my shoulder and hair frazzled. I must have looked a sight; only once had I ever felt so disorientated, and that was when Cinna had tried to brew his own brand of mead and used me as a test subject when I was twelve.

Anyway, something about Mikoto's presence (and the Thunder spells she's just used) had the genomes stop their imminent molestation as I quickly slid out of their reach. I made my way over to my sister with the intention of finding out what had gotten into them all, when I noticed she was... smiling.

At me. She was _laughing _at me!

"Did you set this up?" I panted, confused.

"I hadn't intended for you to be mobbed, but it seems as of late that their curiosity is not easily contained."

"You can say that again," I murmured, reaching round to rub my poor abused tail. I tried to ignore the smarting sensation in my buttocks and glanced over my shoulder in time to see one of the tallest genomes suddenly blush bright red.

Mikoto stepped round me, the smile sliding from her face as she looked over the rabble that was still watching us both. I noticed with a groan that the mages had collected around us, some of them hanging from the windows to watch in fascination. I didn't want to imagine what they'd gathered from the little display they'd just witnessed.

"You," Mikoto suddenly snapped, "are an _embarrassment_ to Terra."

A few of the genomes rocked back on their heels, while others hung their heads shamefully. Me - I watched, still a little speechless.

"What madness has overtaken you to attack a fellow brother so!?"

"We didn't attack him!" Chiyo piped up from behind someone's legs, "We were just curious!"

_Curious_. I'd been hearing that a lot that day.

Mikoto drew herself up to her fullest height and seemed prepared to unleash another verbal spanking on them all when I suddenly had an idea.

All the genomes were gathered in one place, I was feeling more or less up to scratch – and I didn't want to have to deal with another onslaught of questioning and grabbing every time I stepped outside in this place. So, I gently squeezed Mikoto's shoulder and cut her off before she could start shouting again.

"Mikoto, you can stop glaring at them all now. I'm not hurt and I'm not angry, guess it's just been a while since I had hordes of fans trying to get a piece of me."

She shot me a withering 'stop joking about everything' look. I winked, unfazed.

I'd been hoping to rustle up some grub before dealing with anything else, but I doubted I'd be able to do so in peace. So I might as well take advantage of the situation to satisfy this apparent 'curiosity' the genomes had all gained since...

Since the Iifa Tree incident.

Call me slow, but things hadn't begun making much sense until I realised just why they were treating me like some shiny new toy. Dealing with their questions was difficult enough, since I didn't have any answers myself as to how I'd survived, but it did bring up something I hadn't even thought about since that day.

Kuja.

He _hadn't_ survived. And as I was led to his grave – the most decorated of all of them, the one I'd noticed before but thought nothing of when talking to Mr 288 – I had to come to terms with the fact that the only person who might have some answers for me, who had been created for the same purpose, was dead. And that was my fault.

The knowledge that he'd been insane with grief and power during his rebellion against Garland did little to comfort me. I still felt responsible, which was ridiculous. I knew that. I don't think anyone could have helped Kuja, if helping him was even the right thing to have done. But I still felt like I'd lost some... connection, something important.

Suddenly I began to understand how Dagger must have felt watching the Eidolons that belonged to her cause so much destruction to the world she loved. As I knelt in the dirt and brushed my hand over the words inscribed in Terran on the grave... I felt like I'd failed in some way.

Mikoto had ushered the other genomes away, warning them that another display like before would earn "severe punishment". I barely noticed.

I still wonder now, if things had played out differently... if I hadn't acted so hastily and been bent on the idea of destroying Kuja... would things have been different? Well, that was a given. I just wonder _how_ different, is all. If maybe I could have found some was to _reason_ with him...

After witnessing his final moments of life, knowing he'd saved me and all my friends by transporting us from Memoria, clear from the destruction of the Iifa Tree, I couldn't believe he was simply an evil soul.

In fact, I'm not so sure there's such a thing as pure evil anyway. Angry, bitter, twisted – sure. But there are shades of grey in everyone, if you can only be bothered to look. Or so I learned...

Not that I could never make excuses for all the terrible things he'd done to the people I cared about, and all the innocents. He'd tried to destroy two separate worlds without a single care for all the damage he'd caused... not until his final moments...

"He wasn't always so terrible," Mikoto said gently behind me, standing with her back to the grave, "He was the same as any of us at first. Garland spoke of him often. Of his first failed Angel. Kuja couldn't understand the world past his own existence, that was the burden his birth gave him." She paused, her voice lowering to a whisper, "He wasn't selfish, not really."

My voice was flat as I spoke, I was feeling exhausted all of a sudden. "Tell that to the people he killed Mikoto. Those left to deal with the wreckage he left behind."

I stood from the ground, unsure of what I was feeling. Forgiveness was a funny thing. I couldn't hate him now, not after everything that had happened. But I couldn't just forget what he'd done, no matter how much I might have been able to understand the reasons why.

I turned to see her staring at the few genomes still hanging around outside the Synth Shop. Her eyes were clouded with tears, a single drop of salty water sliding down her cheek. I'd seen her smile and cry for the first time in just one day. Mikoto hadn't known Kuja, not personally, until he'd shown up on Terra. I'd have thought she'd hate him for destroying her home and almost killing her family. But I think she understood, like me, that things weren't as simple as love or hate. Not any more. Not for us.

"Kuja was our brother, and he suffered from a life he should never have been granted. I'll not deny his responsibility for what he did, but he does not deserve all the blame either."

I couldn't argue that. But Garland had already paid the price for creating a monster.

The sombre silence went on until it was punctured by a loud grumble, making Mikoto start and search out the surrounding woodland for whatever animal had made the sound. I laughed hollowly. "Sorry, that was me. Guess I haven't eaten in a while..."

What a way to break the moment. Mikoto rolled her eyes and straightened up in front of me, making me briefly wonder how battle-worthy she might be. She knew black and white magic, and she didn't seem to flinch away from a perceived attack. I'd have to ask her about it – over dinner, of course.

"Come. It's time for us all to eat anyway."

I made a low sound of interest in my throat as we slowly headed back, "So you guys do eat then."

Mikoto seemed to tense beside me for a moment, her usually impassive face frowning and causing a few smooth lines to appear around her brow and nose. The expression looked familiar, and it took a second for me to realise I'd seen that face in the mirror many times after long, frustrating days of stealing and general mischievousness. "What's up?"

"Since coming to Gaia, we require regular sustenance." She'd sounded kind of bitter as she admitted this. I assumed it had something to do with the fact that the main cuisine around here seemed to involve owls and ooglops. I'd have to introduce her to some chocolate. Chicks loved that stuff after all.

"And I take it you didn't need to eat before, on Terra?"

She shrugged slightly, the gesture seeming more evasive then anything else. "Many things have changed since coming here."

"Yeah, Mr 288 mentioned... hey!" I suddenly exclaimed loudly, turning on the spot to search out what I could still see of the cemetery, "Where'd he go anyway? I thought he didn't leave the graveyard?"

"The Guardian?" Mikoto queried, stopping a few steps in front of me and watching my confused expression with impatience, "It's his time, I thought you knew that."

Something cold settled in my stomach as she said that, "What do you mean _his time_?"

Mikoto crossed her arms over her chest, looking freakishly like a scholar trying to explain something to a very dim child. "Is it a trend on this planet to feign ignorance in the face of death? You know what I mean, brother."

I blinked at her, my mouth slack. I'd been talking to the guy only minutes ago, how could Mikoto possibly know something like that?

"... _And_ _he_ _knew_," I realised, feeling a sickness that had nothing to do with my hunger pains, "That's why he was acting all weird... but where is he?"

"Lain to rest among his brothers, of course. Where else?"

I hadn't been able to believe my ears. To think he'd wandered off, all alone, and died. I'd been the last person to ever speak to him, my mind whirled as I tried to remember our exact conversation. It suddenly felt important. "Do the others know?"

Mikoto shook her head slowly, "No. And this is a Mage matter so-"

"Then how did _you_ know?"

My tone came out a little more... accusatory, then I'd intended. Not that I suspected that there was anything funny going on, it just seemed odd that she should be pre-warned of his death and no one else. Then I remembered how Mr 288 mentioned that he and Mikoto had spoken - often I assumed. Had they bonded in some way? Both leaders of an outcasted group, they'd have a lot in common.

"Mikoto, what sort of things did you and Mr 288 talk about?"

My sister cocked her head to one side, making me start. I knew I made the same move whenever I was being cheeky or sarcastic. She merely watched me, eyes so like my own examining my face as if she were looking for something.

"Now is not the time to talk about this, we should inform the others of his passing. I understand there are traditions here for your disposing of the dead?"

"Okay," I said slowly, my hand darting out to grab her shoulders as she made to leave, "first off, one of our 'traditions' is sensitivity. You might not have had much practice with it but you're going to have to learn fast, I might put up with it but not everyone else will. So, that being said, perhaps _I_ should tell the Mages he's... dead."

Her tail slashed once through the air behind her before she grumbled something that sounded like, "As you wish."

I let her go with a tired sigh.

This was turning out to be one hell of a day.

And it was only going to get worse.

* * *

**Disclaimer: I own no rights to Final Fantasy 9, all rights belong to Square.**

Notes: Well, that's double the length of my previous chapters. Once again I've lost count of the amount of re-writes and editing I've done! Appreciation to reviewers! I hoped you liked the mobbing scene Silvaria!


	5. Knowing Yourself

Chapter Five: Knowing Yourself.

Having to tell the Mages of Mr 288's death was... intense. I'd had plenty of experience with death over the past few months, and I guess some part of me thought I'd filled my quota. It was stupid for me to think that just because we'd beat the bad guys that all our troubles were over. Things were only set to get more complicated.

We held a funeral, of sorts. The Mages buried him in the middle of the graveyard and placed a headstone of white rock over the grave. Chiyo took it upon herself to circle the grave with flowers – a gesture a lot of the Genomes couldn't understand, yet observed with quiet respect.

And so things continued. The Mages, being the simple beings they were, had relied on routine since creating their village, so nothing much changed. They were definitely more subdued, but they carried on regardless. And the Genome's fascination with this mourning period meant I went forgotten for a little while longer. Either that or they were genuinely afraid of Mikoto's wrath.

Anyway, over the following days I found myself growing more and more isolated from the village. I'd wander off on my own before day break and spend hours at a time just sitting in some remote part of the forest. The first time I did this Mikoto almost pitched a fit, thinking I'd disappeared on her without a word. Which was sweet, I guess. I don't know. It's hard to tell what Mikoto really feels sometimes. She might behave like the ice queen at times, but then I see her with some of the Genomes and she just seems... different. I wouldn't say maternal, but there was definitely a bond between her and the others. Perhaps that was why I found myself growing distant from them all...

Those had been my thoughts when I suddenly sensed a pair of eyes burning holes into the back of my head.

I turned quickly, the blade I always carried at my side quickly finding its way into my hand. I'd expected to see a wild beast preparing to pounce, or at least some nosy animal that was about to find itself an early morning snack – the food in the village was bad enough that I'd taken to hunting in the morning, when the animals were still slow and unsuspecting. Instead I spotted twin sets of bright blue eyes and was hit with a sense of deja vu.

"Oh," I breathed, straightening up, "Chiyo and... Chiyo's brother."

The two exchanged a look that made it easy to tell which was which simply by their expressions. Chiyo looked slightly bashful, as if she'd been caught with her hand in the cookie jar. Her brother just looked annoyed, as usual. For some reason he reminded me of Marcus, who always looked like he had a stick permanently rammed up his backside – and I say that with complete brotherly affection.

I slid the dagger back into its sheath, "What're you guys doing out here?"

"Following you." they replied in unison.

They looked at each other, Chiyo laughing with amusement and her brother... well, I shouldn't have to even say it. That kid seemed to have a limited emotional range.

I rolled my eyes skyward and sighed, "Let me guess, Mikoto put you up to this?" I was really going to have a word with her about this. Concern was one thing, but she was quickly edging towards psycho stalker. "I'm a big boy now," I ground out, "I can take care of myself."

I spotted the two of them sharing another look as I turned away; obviously they weren't quite sure what I was getting at. Come to think of it, they didn't really seem to share the same sorts of concerns as Mikoto. I'd seen the youngest of the Genomes wander the village alone in the middle of the night without anyone so much as raising an eyebrow. Either they were oblivious to the dangers of the forest, which was likely considering how they'd lived before, or they had no reason to fear for themselves or each other. Though the Mages had placed protection and illusion spells around the village, it didn't mean one of them wouldn't wander out of bounds and loose their way back. Though they _did_ seem to have taken care of themselves while I was out of it. Perhaps I wasn't giving them enough credit.

The two of them didn't seem to be going anywhere, so I settled down against a large tree and gestured for them to join me. "You shouldn't go wandering about. It's dangerous."

Chiyo smiled at me, nestling herself into a nearby weave of thick roots. Her brother moved closer but didn't take a seat. His eyes were combing the surroundings closely.

"Don't worry," I told him, "There's nothing dangerous this close to the village."

"I know." he replied, a hint of arrogance in his voice. "I wouldn't have allowed my sister to join me if there were... significant risk."

A little unsure of how I was supposed to react to this boy who seemed to far beyond his years, I merely shrugged and responded with a "hm."

"We can tell there's nothing dangerous around here – well, except that bushel over there." Chiyo told me quickly, trying to sound impressive I expect, and pointed directly in front of us to a small white-budded plant crawling it's way up a nearby tree.

"It's poisonous?" I guessed, "Did one of you find out the hard way?"

The boy made an impatient noise through his nose before Chiyo looked at him, her expression one of age old tolerance. It'd take a person as bright as her to put up with a kid like him, I expect.

"Nope," she replied, "But we can sense it."

A moment of silence while that tried to sink in.

"Sense it?" I echoed.

"Sure! We can sense every living thing around here, whether it's good or bad-"

"She means," her brother cut in, "We can sense the energy given off by all life forms in the immediate area and whether they pose any risk according to their intentions."

I was still baffled, "Intentions? A plant can have intentions?"

"Not according to a moral conscience. But by the energy it releases, we... feel it."

"Like... bad vibes?"

The kid quirked his eyebrow at me and, if it were possible, looked smugger then usual.

"But it's a plant!" I protested, "It's not sitting there, cackling to itself while it waits for some animal to come along and accidentally kill themselves!"

"Is that so? That's a rather surprising opinion to hear from someone who has ventured into this world's Living Forest."

Living forest?

"Oh, the Forbidden For- hey, how'd you know about that place? And how'd you know I've been there?"

"The Mages," Chiyo quickly put in, "They told us all about you while you were still... sick. And about your friends."

A quick stab in my gut distracted me from my surprise for just a moment before I rolled my eyes. "Ohhh, so is that why everyone keeps looking at me funny and stuff? I know I'm pretty studly..." I teased. They exchanged a look before looking at me blankly. I sighed. If the others were here... well, Eiko and Vivi would have laughed. Dagger would roll her eyes – in what I would hope to think was fondly – while Steiner lost patience and started kicking things. Yeah, I really missed those guys.

"So where are they now?" Chiyo asked, interrupting my daze.

"Huh, who?"

"Your friends. The pretty girl and the loud one and the little Mage boy and the soldier lady-"

"Oh," of course Chiyo would remember them from Terra, "I er... I guess they're back home."

Back home. Well, that's where Dagger would be – in Alexandria, probably sat in her throne in an expensive gown with trusty Rusty at her side. Tantalus would be causing mayhem, I expect. Freya rebuilding Burmecia. I wondered where the others would have gone though? And it occurred to me that at least two of them had reason to come back to this continent. Vivi was one of the Mages, and Eiko's home was nearby. Amarant was a wonderer, he could be anywhere...

I tried to keep my face straight under the twins strangely watchful eyes. I couldn't help the building pain in my chest though. I knew it had been a while but... surely _someone_ would have come looking for me by now.

I put the question to the two of them.

The boy merely shrugged and said something about having other interests to attend to. Chiyo, however, looked a little uncomfortable.

"There were some ships..." she admitted sheepishly, "On the water. And one big one in the sky some time ago..."

My eyes widened. "And you didn't tell me!?"

Chiyo opened her mouth to respond, looking a little red-eyed. Her brother was the one to answer me though.

"You haven't asked," he pointed out cuttingly, "So don't take it out on my sister."

Three things, unpleasant things: Shame. Guilt. Confusion. I apologised to Chiyo and she smiled back at me, something swimming behind her eyes that I couldn't fathom or really focus on at the time. Then I felt the guilt. I'd thought about home, of course. A lot. But I'd made my decision to stay, temporarily, and help the Genomes.

But... why hadn't I considered the thought that people would have been looking for me... and without finding a body they'd assume I was...

"I have to go," I told them as I jumped from the ground, "Don't wander off okay."

I didn't hear what they called after me as I charged back to the village. There was someone I needed to talk to, properly for once without interruption or her stupid cryptic games. A vague memory from weeks ago nagged at the back of my mind; I'd known nobody knew I was still alive, but I'd thought I could go home within a week or two and things could go back to – well, not _normal_, but...

I burst from the trees like a wild thing. A few of the nearby inhabitants of the village watched with wide eyes as I shouted for Mikoto.

"By the Sleeping Souls of Terra," a voice called back, "Stop that noise!"

I turned, seeing her slight figure walking towards me across the small bridge. I moved forward and grabbed her arm before pulling her back inside the inn. Thankfully it was empty.

"Why didn't you tell me they'd been looking for me?" I hissed.

Her face remained infuriatingly passive. So she knew who I was referring too.

"Why didn't you ask?"

Had the kid not already made a point of this earlier I'd have hesitated in my reply. As it was, I was already flooded with enough remorse that I didn't falter as a fresh wave of shame hit me.

"In case you forgot, I was too sick to even know where I was until a few weeks ago!"

Her mouth twitched slightly as she crossed her arms over her stomach, leaning back on one leg to gaze at me in a way that made me feel like I was being examined or something. "But time has moved on and you haven't asked after your... friends... since."

I was ready for that one, "I've had a lot on my mind. Mr 288 dying and... and keeping an eye on you guys."

She laughed. A short, cold laugh that made me shiver. "Excuses brother. You've spent most of your time since recovery on your own, hunting and moping in the shadows of the forest. Would it have made a difference if I'd told you how I saved you, carried you back here alone and brought you back from destruction while your friends gave up after just seven sunsets?"

I was... stunned. Not just by what she'd said, but by the sheer cruelty in her voice. It was like she enjoyed telling me that my friends has only spent one week trying to find me. _One week_... was that all I was worth?

The silence was heavy, and damning. Maybe it was hypocritical to feel so abandoned when I had consciously decided to stay away. If I had really wanted to I could have sent a message home. My excuses not to were pretty thin.

"Tell me something," Mikoto continued, "Did you even want them to know you are still alive?"

I opened my mouth to tell her: of course I wanted them to know. This had all been a stupid mistake. I hit my head. I got distracted. I just needed time to heal. I didn't think it was time yet...

But my mouth closed, and I said nothing.

No amount of excuses could beat down the dawning realisation creeping up on me then...

Behind the need to stay with the Genomes, to honour Mr 288's memory by looking out for the Mages and hiding behind the alibi of my almost healed injuries...

I just didn't want to go back.

* * *

So, not is all as it seems.

And at least I updated in less then FIVE months this time! Sorry about the shortness but I didn't want to end up rambling. We get a little action soon! Thank you reviewers, your kindness always guilts me into pushing out the next chapter!

Disclaimer: Copyright Square. I own nothing.


	6. A Dark Heart

**Warnings: **some really messed up imagery at the end.

Chapter Six: A Dark Heart.

I stared into the duffel back in front of me. All I owned were my blades and the clothes on my back, which weren't a lot to fill the bag I'd salvaged from various pieces of discarded junk spread around the village. I'd spent the night before talking some of the Mages into loaning me a few items and spare weapons. Thankfully I didn't have to try too hard. The Mages seemed to think they owed me after everything with Kuja, but their kindness only dug that bit deeper in the self-loathing I'd developed over the past twenty-four hours. But at least now I had some light-weight armour and enough supplies to get me to the mist continent. I figured I could travel through Gargant Roo and end up in Treno within the week if I high-tailed it. Within a fortnight I could be back in Alexandria, back with Dagger and the gang.

What would I say? Would they be pissed? That was actually a no-brainer. Of course they would. But at least I could really start moving on. Yeah, this felt like the beginning of something new...

I threw the bag over my shoulder and fastened my traveller's cape loosely around my shoulders. It would be warm soon, but the early morning air was still chilled. I left the empty inn and stepped out onto the decking that held the hut clear over the water below.

I'd miss this place. A lot. You never really appreciate something until-

Oh hell. What a cliché.

Shaking off the nostalgia, I crossed the bridge and quietly made my way the front of the village, coming to a halt in front of the item shop. There was still one thing I wanted to do before leaving.

I won't bore you with seemingly poignant comments on the weather; the gentle breeze that carried loose flowers on the wind like ghosts. I'll just say it straight: I went to Kuja's grave.

Of all the places he could have ended up, buried amongst the people he'd lied to, manipulated and used while he was alive was _not_ what I'd expected. But if the past few months had taught me anything, it was that people were just full of surprises.

I think I was getting a little sick of those.

"I don't know exactly why I'm here..." I told the silent grave, "It's not like I owe you anything. I don't think you'd care if I was standing here or not Kuja. But..."

But? But what. I was talking to the wind, as Ruby would put it.

I stayed there for a while, just staring at the familiar shapes carved into his headstone. I no longer felt the same unsettled longing when I saw those patterns, just a sort of... empty disappointment. My head was beginning to spin with thoughts, words I couldn't quite put into sentences yet.

_Kuja... I wish... I **really** wish... I wish that you hadn't been such a crazy arsed son of a... no, wait. I wish you hadn't made me do the things I had to do... I wish Garland hadn't treated us all like puppets; you, me... the Genomes. I wish I could have been smarter, stronger. I wish I wishIwishIwish-_

But my wishes were just angry words that had been running though my head from the moment we'd met, when he'd shown yourself in Burmecia and simply walked away into the rain. I do wonder, sometimes, if he'd recognised me then, known that it was his _brother_ lying sprawled across the wet ground after having his tail handed to him by a chick.

I gave up on my goodbye. I suppose it was too late for anything I might have had to say anyway. This grave marked nothing but the past now, and I had a future I needed to get back to. But still... I felt torn by my by decision to leave. It was the right thing to do, or so my head told me. I'd left people who cared about me hanging, probably mourning. It made me feel like a whole new class of jerk, just disappearing on them like that. Yet every step I took towards the woods leading out towards the shore made my body feel heavy with _more_ guilt.

So when I turned the corner and spotted a rabble of blonde-haired folk standing at the entrance, I could only feel annoyed by how much harder they were making this. If I could keep on walking without having to stop, I know I'd have made it clear.

Five pairs of eyes landed on me. I still didn't stop walking.

"Where are you going?"

I kept my eyes fixed on the ground, ignoring the voice. It was best if I didn't get to know any of the Genomes any more then I already had.

Perhaps I should have left a message for Chiyo...

"Has he gone deaf again?" asked another as I passed by.

"I'm not deaf," I snapped before mentally kicking myself.

"Maybe he just doesn't want us any more."

This time I _had_ to look up. The dejection in that voice, her voice, was enough to make me hesitate.

Damn it.

I stopped. "Chiyo, it's not like that."

Her brother quickly stepped up to her side, taking her small hand in his in a way that was more a gesture of possession then comfort. "Why don't you just let him go, he's getting good at this running thing."

Ouch. "I've never run from anything," I ground out, "this is just... I don't belong here, okay. Can you understand that I already have a place I should be?" Even I could hear the half-heartedness of my voice. My eyes couldn't look away from Chiyo's tiny, crestfallen face. "I have people waiting for me."

As true as it was, it still sounded lame. Colour it whichever way you want, but I knew what I was doing wasn't fair on anybody. So what if it might have been for a legitimate reason... I was still abandoning them.

Chiyo broke free of her brother's grip and scrambled towards me, ignoring the fact that he was still trying to hold onto her. "What about us?" she asked, her voice a high-pitched squeak. "Don't you care about _us _any more?"

"If he ever did in the first place. Mikoto was wrong." I overheard someone else mutter darkly.

"Look," I said, already feeling my willpower crumbling away. But I was unable to finish whatever it was I could thin of to say due to the arrival of a the one person I knew could force me to stay. Physically, if she had too.

Mikoto stepped from the shadows, and from the look on her face she'd been there a long time. "Zidane, brother..." she began, "You're _wrong_."

I frowned at the dark resolution in her eyes, "I... am?"

"Indeed. You say you have a place in this world waiting for you. I thought I made it clear before, but obviously not. The only place for you is here. If you truly belonged elsewhere, with those people you call your friends, they would have found you, would they not?"

The tightness in my stomach turned into a scraping claw as my throat began to burn. "You don't know what you're talking about. They looked for me, I know they did. They thought I was dead."

"They gave up quickly-"

"They have more important things to do!" I burst out, hating the fact that this truth was the only explanation I could come up with. To know that I wasn't worth more then a few days searching... but every major city had already undergone so much turmoil and destruction. I knew Cid's loyalty to his people was too strong for him to ignore. Lindblum was a big city, and everyone would be needed to return it to its former glory.

And Dagger... she would be Queen now. That was a lot to cope with in itself, let along dealing with the fact that her own mother had been the cause of Gaia's grief.

They... made the right decision by choosing their people over me. I couldn't hold that against them, no matter the pain in caused me to accept. We all had to do things we didn't want to, after all.

That was when I realised that maybe... maybe it would be okay if I did the same thing. Maybe I _should_ be here with the other Genomes like I'd first thought. After all, it wasn't as if it'd be forever.

Except – and this was the thing that truly chilled me to the bone – except I wouldn't have forever. Dagger, the one person I'd been trying so hard not to think about over the past few weeks, she'd have other obligations that needed to be seen to. I know how these things work. She's a beautiful woman, with a kingdom to rule. Which meant...

Which meant soon she would need an heir to her throne. A child. Which also meant...

A husband.

This is the part where I tell you that, yes, I had once upon a time wondered if I could be that guy. You'd think every man would want the chance to marry a gorgeous girl and inherit untold riches and power, but even before I'd begun this whole crazy journey I'd never really wanted that. I craved freedom and excitement far too much to be bogged down by the whole concept of responsibility. But Dagger... Dagger made me feel like I could do anything, _be_ anything. There were probably rules about Queens marrying peasants. Especially peasants who weren't even originally from the same _planet_...

Turning to Mikoto, I saw a small smile on her lips that proved she knew what I was thinking.

But what neither of us knew was that any decision I made was about to become meaningless. I was about to be given little choice as to what I could do thanks to what happened next. After all... I always do the right thing, the stupid thing. And I just never learned.

The sun had finally risen above the trees when he showed himself, stepping into the hazy red light like a wraith. His cloak shivered over his body like it was a living thing, pooling around his booted feet. "How very touching..." the stranger spoke, his voice frightening familiar in it's fluidity.

Regardless of whether I knew him or not, I could almost sense the threat pouring from him. Something the Genomes could obviously sense too as Chiyo dived behind me out of fright. Some of the others, the ones who seemed older then the rest, stepped in front of their kin; and I wasn't particularly surprised to find Chiyo's brother among them.

"Forgive the intrusion," the cloaked figure bowed mockingly, "but I've come looking for someone rather important you see."

My hand settled none too subtly on the blade at my side, the warning in my voice was clear. "I doubt you'll find them here."

I could hear his smile in his voice, "On the contrary, I believe I've already found him."

We all tensed as a tanned hand carefully made it's way into the air. I waited for a weapon to appear, preparing to throw myself over Chiyo to shield her from whatever he was going to throw at us. Magic, knives...

The hand pulled the hood from his face, and I gasped.

It was... me.

This guy was an exact mirror image of my face, framed by the same dark blonde hair that fell around his face and over his shoulders. His eyes gleamed at me in the morning light.

"Who are you!?" I demanded, throwing aside my shock for the time being.

"Me?" he laughed, "You mean you don't know? Garland, it seems you failed to pass on your infinite knowledge to your Angel. What a shame, my sister and I do hate to waste our time so."

"Sister?" I ground out, eyes searching the forest behind him for another.

"Oh she hasn't joined me just yet, it seemed pointless for both of us to come along. It's a shame, I'm sure the look on your faces right now would have amused her."

At his words I glanced at the Genomes around me, all of whom were looking equally baffled. Mikoto was out of my line of sight, but I could feel her close behind me. She was probably observing, gauging the level of threat this apparent lunatic held.

But as the sun began to rise, so did the members of the village. Inwardly I prayed the Mages and remaining Genomes would stay inside, I couldn't help but feel that this was going to get ugly.

Of course, things could just _never_ go the way I hoped.

Stepping from the weapons shop with his staff held high, Mr 239 walked calmly towards us all. His eyes were bright and watchful, and I suspected he'd been listening from inside the shop since this man had shown himself. He showed no surprised at seeing how identical this stranger and I were. Of course, it was possible we all looked alike to the Mages anyway, just as they did to us.

"This is a peaceful settlement," he told the intruder firmly, "Please take your business elsewhere."

"And so the puppet can speak!" my doppelgänger declared with exaggerated surprise. To his credit, Mr 239 didn't react.

"I advise you to leave at once. We may be peaceful, but we are far from weak."

His staff began to glow a shimmering white, crackling with Fire magic. I unclasped my cloak and withdrew a blade.

But none of this seemed to perturb the stranger in the slightest, as he ran his fingers over his chin as if in deep thought.

"Now let me see, a dozen or so Genomes – none of which are particularly important or in possession of significant strength. You _puppets _are equal to nothing. No, I see no reason to leave. Of course, we can avoid any messy business if _you_," he pointed one long finger in my direction with a cold smile, "simply do as instructed and follow me."

I glared at this man, my grip tightening on the hilt of my dagger. "Follow you where?"

"To fulfil your true purpose, of course!" he declared, as if I should already know this.

The memory of Garland climbing the observatory back on Terra flashed before my eyes. If my hunch was right, I had a few suspicions as to who this person could be.

"You're from Terra." I stated. He didn't reply, but his smile grew wider. "So, Garland created you too?"

This, he seemed insulted by. His mouth twisted into a ugly grimace, and I swear for a second his eyes flashed _black_. "Created by a decrepit old man like Garland." he spat "Never."

Not wanting to take my eyes of him, but knowing that the only one of us who might have a clue as to what was going on was standing behind me. I carefully took a step back so as not to trample Chiyo and stopped at Mikoto's side. "You know this guy?"

She didn't answer. I shot a quick look at her face, and froze.

Her eyes were _burning_, her tail cutting through the air with such force that it disturbed the dirt around her feet. "How dare you come to this place!" she snarled, an aura of crimson light flooding over her limbs. Was she going into Trance?

As if her sudden change were some sort of signal, most of the Genomes still surrounding us grabbed their smaller kin and dragged them away from us to shelter. Three stayed behind, two of them moving to stand behind Mikoto whilst Chiyo's twin moved to my side. I tried forcing him to leave with his sister, but Chiyo's grip on my belt was unyielding – though she seemed far from being afraid. All five of the Genomes shared the same fierce expression.

And yet the man just stood there, watching, practically laughing in our faces. "Is this is, is this Terra's salvation: a band of vacant dolls? Pitiful, to think we let a once great civilisation dwindle... to _this_." He took several long steps forward, his arms spreading wide. "And so an epic legacy becomes a tragedy-"

I was really beginning to get sick of this idiot. It must have shown, especially when I matched his stride forward and flicked my dagger out in front of me, holding it steady and pointed straight at his throat. "That's enough talking from you."

He eyed the knife before his eyes trailed up to meet mine. To see such a sneering look of indifference on a face that looked like mine was... beyond weird.

"So be it, no more talking. Then I assume you will not, how does the phrase go? Come quietly?"

My answer was pretty clearly delivered by a certain gesture made by my free hand. He laughed.

"Very well."

He turned... and walked away.

That was when I made a rookie mistake. I lowered my blade - my guard - believing he was truly retreating...

He disappeared.

Literally, in the blink of an eye he was gone. I turned to walk back to the others, to question Mikoto who clearly knew something I was going to _make_ her share. Of all of us, she knew it was a trick. I didn't have time to hear the warning she barked at me, I only registered the horrified look on Chiyo's face as she pointed behind me. Something burned into my shoulder before forcing me to turn and look my attacker in the face-

For a split second I was able to gasp in horror at the sight only inches from my own face. What should have been eyes were empty sockets, swirling with darkness and blood. There was no nose, and only a gaping, sharp-toothed hole for a mouth that twisted as it tried to speak...

"_Come empty prophet, Angel of Death, meet with destiny...__" _

Noises in my head. My ears felt like they were bleeding, my head crushing under the sound of this voice. Shapes appeared in front my eyes, blotting out everything but those eyes and that mouth... words I couldn't quite remember... like an old song...

I felt something new then, something... dark. It clawed its way into me – no, _out_ of me. I could feel it running through my veins and from the pours in my skin. Hot, burning _something. _It was almost like Trance, except my power then felt pure and strong. I knew this was something else. Something hidden away, locked up and waiting.

And now it was free. And I...

I was lost to it.

**Disclaimer: All rights to square etc. No profit made by me etc.**

Notes: Originally Zidane was going to do a journey back towards a bunch of places and have some soul-searching to do before this guy showed up. But I think we've had enough angsting from him. Now, let's get to the really fun stuff.

Being _baaad_.

(PS: This is not a "Zidane goes evil and kills everyone fic" okay.) Oh, and sorry about the wait. Finally found a job for Christmas, but there's only a week left before I back among the unemployed.


	7. Destruction

This is what I remember.

I fell to my knees, my hands clawing at my temples as the voice seemed to pierce my mind. I could almost feel my very thoughts shattering at the sound, it was like a force echoing inside my body. I was helpless to it. Afterwards I was told how I began to writhe on the floor, twisting gruesomely as the man who'd caused all this mayhem continued to loom over me, his body poised as if preparing to devour me hole. The Mages, those that hadn't fled in fear, tried to help. But their magic was as effective as a butterfly beating against a stone wall.

That was when Mikoto stepped in.

The disfigured shape pulled back from where I lay, barely conscious in the dirt, it's cloaked body no longer solid but rippling like water in mid-air.

"_You dare_?" it hissed through pincer-like teeth.

Of course she did. This was Mikoto after all. And some stranger was threatening the people she'd been charged to protect. Her kin. With his attention no longer on me, the voices seemed to fade. Th world came swarming back as I lay blinking and panting hard on the ground, trying to focus on what was happening in front of me.

"_Idiot child, to disobey is to die!"_

I couldn't hear Mikoto's response, no doubt it was as scathing as the tongue-lashing's she dealt everyone else. But it was enough of a distraction for me to reach into the concealed sheath in my boot and pull out a thin, silver dagger. Madness? Probably. This... thing that floated in the air and changed it's face so easily might have been a powerful opponent. But what's power when you turn your back on your enemy?

My body still felt drained from whatever it had tried to do to me. But I grit my teeth and threw myself off the ground, dagger raised, and plunged the blade into it's back. All the while hoping this thing had a heart I could pierce.

No such luck.

The blade simply remained there for a moment before it began to quiver in my hand. I tried sinking it in further, but it was as if I'd plunged it into stone. Where there should have been blood there was nothing for a few moments, and then... light. A swirling mix of a silvery white-gold began to glow from the wound as the blade shuddered.

I stared as the monster who'd stolen my face turned to peer over his shoulder, a cruelly amused smile on his lips. "_Fool_."

I was thrown back by a blast of light, hitting the ground hard enough to have me gasping painfully for air.

"Zidane!" cried a familiar voice. Chiyo's round, terrified blue eyes appeared above me. "Are you hurt?"

"G-get... out of here!" I managed to gasp, winding my arm around my middle as I pulled myself to my feet. I stumbled, almost falling forward before Chiyo grabbed me tightly, trying to take my unsteady weight with her small body. I pushed her aside, stepping forward to block her from view as I faced my other self once again.

He stood side on, seemingly undaunted that Mikoto and I had him covered from both sides. Of course, when you could be stabbed in the heart without so much as a tickle, I suppose he wasn't that worried about what little we could do next.

He raised both arms, his robes swimming in the air. Light began to form at his fingertips, the same light emanating from his back, and I felt Chiyo begin to tremble behind me.

"What's he doing?" I hissed.

"He... oh no... oh no, oh no, please don't!" she suddenly cried out, trying to escape from behind me with her arms outstretched.

"Chiyo!" I grabbed her tightly by the base of her tail, making her squeal in pain. But still she lashed out at me as the light grew brighter, I could feel it's heat beginning to burn at my skin. All around us the leaves and flowers began to wilt, as if shrinking away from the blaze.

I didn't need to see that face morphing between my own and the monster underneath to know what he planned to do next. Another faced flashed before my eyes, a pale face framed with red hair and twisted in fury.

"Everybody, _**run**_!" I bellowed.

All I could hope was that we could get away fast enough. Mikoto, obviously thinking the same thing, began shouting orders to the other genomes to evacuate. The Mages flew about in panic, some trying to find their friends, others picking up objects from their homes in a meagre attempt to save something they had built from scratch and turned into a home.

And that was now only seconds from being destroyed.

His voice chased after us like a cruel wind, his laughter among the screams and explosions still echo in my mind.

"_**Unfortunately, I must leave you now. But don't think we won't meet again!" **_

The village was fading from sight, blurs of purple coats and frightened faces forcing their way through the thickening brush around me as I carried a weeping Chiyo in my arms. Mikoto had rounded up the genomes, they ran hand in hand with each other, a few of them had hold of a Mage's tail coat or staff and were pulling them onward.

"We need cover!" I heard a voice cry, "Everyone head downhill!"

Well there wasn't much option as the forest quickly dipped beneath all our feet. From memory I knew we were headed for the cliffs at the base of the nearby mountains. If we could duck behind them...

I looked back, and quickly wish I hadn't.

Rising above the trees like serpents were hundreds of writhing beams of light. Slowly they expanded, turning an impossible shade of white. I knew by instinct we only had seconds... we wouldn't make the cliffs.

"**Everybody get down now!"**

Throwing myself to the ground, I tried to cover Chiyo's tiny body with my own.

The wind came first. Like a tornado it shattered the trees around us like matchsticks, pulling them from the earth. Our bodies were thrown across the ground, battered by rocks and debris. Then came the heat... and the screams. It was unlike anything I'd ever felt before in my life. I thousand blades were slicing through my skin, I could almost feel it begin to bubble under my clothing.

By the time the explosion came, I already knew we were all dead.

**A.N:**

Months later, here we are. I won't bore you with details, but that pesky thing called life has been causing me some trouble. I'm not pushing myself for uber-long chapterness, in fact, I think I prefer the short, to the point installments. It's stops me wading into angst anyway.

Thanks to all those reviewers and to anyone still reading. I hope I didn't disappoint and promise you more action and twists are on their way. Along with characters old and new.

Disclaimer: All rights go to square, I claim no ownership to Final Fantasy IX.


	8. Deja Vu Sucks

Chapter Nine: Deja Vu sucks. 

For the second time in only a matter of months, I woke feeling as if my body had been trampled by a herd of wilder-beast. But I could feel my body, which meant I was still alive and still intact. I tested this theory hastily, wriggling my feet and fingers as much as I dared. All there. But something else was missing... something important that I had held tightly in my arms...

"Chiyo!"

Forgetting the pain, I shot upright and opened my eyes.

I quickly wished I hadn't.

What I saw was something from a nightmare. Old memories of Lindblum and Alexandria's ruins used to haunt my sleep, though I'd never let it show with Dagger needing me to be strong. At least you were still able to tell where you were amongst the ruins. Homes were destroyed and families torn apart, but the ground had not been littered with bloodied and charred bodies.

Only a few surrounded me, twisted against the ground and covered by smouldering trees and rock. Mostly the Mages had been victim to the explosion. Too slow, too afraid to try and protect themselves, they'd only tried to outrun their deaths. I forced myself off the dirt, fighting back the urge to be sick – and failing. Sweat dripped from my forehead. I could smell blood and burnt hair and flesh. Not an arms reach from where I quickly collapsed was a body of a genome, curled in on itself as if sleeping. But the blackened clothing and skin told me there was no hope of rousing him. I could sense the death in the air like nothing I'd felt before.

What had this monster _done_.

"Chiyo... Mikoto..."

I had to think straight. Not everyone was here, perhaps the others made it to shelter...

But I hadn't. I was still here amongst the others that hadn't made it far enough from the village. So why was I alive... and virtually unharmed.

My hands automatically began searching out injuries. Besides the pain in my muscles and my torn skin, there was nothing. Bruising and cuts... but no breakages. No severe burning. I felt my hair loose around my shoulders and realised the sick smell in the back of my throat came from my own head. The blaze had touched me, but it hadn't killed me.

A new, frightened sickness swamped me. I didn't know what this meant, but I knew it was... wrong. Unnatural.

Anger bubbled up inside me as I stumbled past the bodies. They were gone, massacred, and yet here I stood having once again cheated death. The desire to want to know why kicked at the back of my mind. I knew there was some reason for this. I'd seen enough not to believe in coincidence any more. As the cliffs came into view and I stumbled towards them, I vowed that I would find answers. I would hunt down this demon and make him, and any other force responsible for so much death, pay.

Until a voice behind me distracted me from all thought.

"My, my. The blood lust you have..."

It couldn't be. That voice... _her_ voice. Here? Now?

I turned.

"Dag?"

Delicate lips turned upwards in an empty smile. "No. But I thought this form would be... easier for you."

Hair that fell in thick, glossy layers over her back and shoulders somehow managed to shine in the dusty afternoon light. Her face... glowed. But her eyes, soft brown eyes I'd fallen in love with, they were too hard to belong in that face.

Another shape-shifting demon!

"_You_!"

I lunged without caution or thought. This was not Dagger, I would tear this creatures face clean off to get what was beneath if I had to! My hands were outstretched like claws as I reached out, so close to that false face – until it vanished.

I fell forward into the dirt. The ground was still hot.

"Do sit down before you hurt yourself." the voice sighed, "I've a lot to tell you. There's no time for your outbursts."

I had to be hallucinating. This... was just too much. Another shadow here to mock me no doubt.

"I don't have time for this either," I spat into the ground, "People are dead. They're hurt, and you... you have something to do with it."

"Now that's just a dreadful thing to say!" she protested. I twisted to face her, my legs now feeling weak and jelly-like. "Especially since it was I who _saved_ your friends."

What? Saved?

My hands curled into fists. I'd have leapt at her again if I didn't feel my body begin to shake uncontrollable. "Liar! They're _dead_! Look, _look_ at what you've done!"

Heavy silence as my sight became blurred. I didn't bother to wipe away the tears as they left streaks on my dirt covered cheeks. The woman watched me for a few moments, as if trying to understand my anger. My sorrow. When she spoke again it was gentle, more like the Dagger I knew.

"Only a few, my sweet. I had no hand in their demise. I am... sorry, we could not save them all."

And suddenly, things made sense. My eyes slid shut as shock and confusion faded into some sort of relief. Perhaps she could give me my answers. "You saved me, didn't you."

"Yes."

"Why?"

Silence.

"The Iifa Tree, was that you?"

Again there was no answer. I suddenly felt surrounded by stillness, as I opened my eyes... she was gone. Or so I thought until a hand gently pressed itself against my shoulder. I felt warm breath on my cheek and the scent of sweetness I'd committed to memory not so long ago as I bid goodbye to the real Dagger. But smelling it now, seeing that small hand gently wiping the grime from my exposed shoulder...

"You are... so special Angel. Words couldn't begin to describe what you are..." she whispered. "We'll come to you again, soon. I promise you."

She withdrew, but not before I reached out for her once again. This time, not to attack, but to embrace.

Call it shock. Desperation. Hell, maybe I thought the whole damn thing was an illusion. But I pulled her roughly onto her knees and dug my hands into her hair. Holding her firmly, I stared into those eyes and prayed for the warmth I remembered to seep back into them. I wanted to feel... something other then pain, uncertainty and anger. I let myself sink into the moment and remember when I held the real Dagger in my arms back on Terra as Kuja brought the world down around us...

_I deftly leapt the last few steps onto the portal, trying not to cringe as those damn freaky eyeballs watched my every move. Dagger was already waiting, her foot tapping against the ground in what I knew to be her way of trying to control her impatience as she prepared to teleport us. _

_There was just... something I needed to say before we were thrown into chaos once more._

"_Dagger?" I blurted._

_She responded with bright eyes focusing on me, adrenaline making her cheeks pink, "Yes."_

_I hesitated, making some damn joke about those giant eyes. Dagger chided me with all the regal forwardness I knew would make her a damn good Queen someday soon. Which only made my insides squirm more as I tried to find the words..._

"_Um... You came to my rescue, right? And... Uh... What you said to me... It made me really happy..." _

_I had never felt like such a dork in front of a girl before. Dagger stepped forward, the charging teleporter forgotten for a second. _

"_Zidane..."_

"_How can I say this...? Um..."_

_I felt the build up of energy work its way from my feet as we began to shift. My eyes fixed on Dagger's face, I stepped forward, ready to tell her exactly how she had made me feel every day since that blessed kidnapping._

_As it turned out, words were not always needed to say thank you._

I threw myself backwards, trying to put as much distance between myself and the fraud gazing at me with pity. Steadily, the false Dagger rose to her feet. Neither of us spoke a word, I only watched as she disappeared like smoke on the wind.

Angel. She too had called me Angel.

Never had a word so many found comfort in made me feel so...

Afraid.

**A.N:**

What can I say, I was quickly inspired. Disclaimer; I own no rights at all.


	9. Of Angels and Demons

Chapter Nine: Of Angels and Demons.

We spent the rest of the day burying the dead in shared silence. Seven graves lined the cliff-side, each marked by stone slabs and flowers gathered by the Mages. Three of the genomes hadn't made it. One child and two that couldn't have been much older.

Only Chiyo joined the Mages as they mourned. Mikoto stood apart from us all.

The sun had begun to sink below the horizon when we made the decision to return to the village, to see if there was anything left to salvage. I think we all knew there would be nothing but smouldering rubble, but we had to hope.

Long before we reached the village the trees began to thin as the ground beneath our feet blackened. The closer we got the more we were surrounded by death. Dead trees, dead plants. Even the air smelled thick with it.

We stepped through the final clearing of charred, mangled trees and froze.

"This is horrendous..." whimpered one of the genomes dressed in white and gold. "Such destruction!"

Destruction? It more like total wipe-out. There was nothing left, only the barest hints that life had once flourished here in the scattered remains of the houses – now reduced to a pile of bricks. There would have been no chance of surviving this.

The Mages were horrified to see their home in such a way. The staggered about, trying to pick up the old pieces of their home, only to have them crumble in their hands.

I stood on the outskirts of the village staring at the spot _he'd _been standing hours ago, trying to understand. It wasn't until I glanced over my shoulder and found Mikoto watching me, her expression unreadable, that something clicked into place.

I strode over, grabbing her firmly by the arm, and dragged her into the woods.

"You know something." I hissed.

Mikoto calmly disengaged herself from my grip with a sniff. "Of course I do, it is my duty to know these things after all."

"Duty?" I scoffed, "What are you on about?"

My little sister sighed heavily. "Surely you felt it."

"Felt what?" I all but shouted. I was not in the mood for her cryptic shit. "That guy was evil, to the damn core. I sure as hell felt that-"

"Idiot." Mikoto hissed at me, "I am referring to his roots. To yours too."

"Terra." I said blankly, "He knew about... about me, my _birth_." Ancient words whispered in my ears, but I pushed them away.

"Yes, he did. So one would conclude that he too, is from Terra."

Ignoring the patronising tone of her statement, I blinked. Of course it makes sense now that he would have been from Terra, who else would have known about Garland and the whole "Angel of Death" business. So... did that mean the woman I met after the explosion, was she from Terra too? Or had she been lying to me, was she not in fact the same demon in a new guise?

Too many questions, too much horror for one day. I slumped against a tree and let my head fall into my hands.

"Although what his business is here is unclear. Why attack this solitary settlement, we posed little threat. His actions were unnecessary cruel..."

"Cruel?" I snorted without humour, "He murdered three of our kind, children Mikoto! And the Mages lost their home and their brother's too. There's rarely motive behind that kind of evil – just enjoyment."

I lifted my head from my hands, running through my dirt-streaked hair in an attempt to buy time before saying aloud what I was thinking. I wanted just those few precious seconds before accepting what I already knew, and having to deal with the crushing guilt that came after.

"He only wanted me. If I had done what he wanted..."

I'm not usually the type for a pity-fest. I've been through enough to know that sitting in the dark crying over something would solve nothing. I'd had my moments, my shameful behaviour on Terra being the worst of them. But I'd never been responsible for something like this before – the death of seven innocent beings. Why did I have to fight? I _always_ have to _fight_.

And people always got hurt.

"Brother..." Mikoto began, closing the space between us. "There are things you do not know about our home, our legacy. But you are a vital part of it and of our future. This being, although quick to act, is simply fufilling his purpose-"

I snapped. Grabbing Mikoto hard by the shoulders I shook her more violently then I'd intended so head head wobbled to and fro like a doll. Her eyes widened in surprise – the only emotion I'd seen on her face since that _thing_ had turned up.

"Damn you Mikoto, tell me! You tell me exactly what you know right now!"

I felt a sudden burst of hot pain against my chest strong enough to knock me back against the thick, yet unstable trunk of the tree behind me. It cracked, sending up a wave of dust and ash that made me choke.

Mikoto slowly lowered her hand, her entire body seemingly empty of emotion as she stared me down with an unflinching gaze. "Do not make me attack you again brother. Such an act is blasphemous, I'd hate to anger the Gods. They have such a terrible wrath."

At first I assumed I'd misheard. Gods? What was she talking about? Gods were myths and stories told to children. There had been religions in our planets past, some I'd come to realise had been to do with the legacy of the Eidolons. I could remember Blank and Marcus having drunken arguements over the legitimacy of such things. Of Gods and... Angels. Angels and Demons.

God damn it.

* * *

AN: So I never really got the impression Gaia had a solid religion. Other then the Eidolon legends and the odd mention of a diety in the game, there's not really any mention of a global religion etc. So I've taken advantage of this fact and shall do as I please!

I think the shorter chapters are working better for me. I want to make up for the long, long delay in my last two chapters and will be updating more regularly now things in my life have settled a little more. I can actually concentrate on plot now! Also, Zidane won't be moping about for the entire fic, and we will see some old characters very soon. If anyone notices mistakes, be they plot related or grammatical – please tell, it's the only way I can learn!

Disclaimer: Copyright to Square.


	10. Midnight Meetings

Chapter Ten: Midnight Meetings.

_Warnings for language._

I left Mikoto in that clearing, unable to hear any more when she tried to explain further. I'd asked for the truth and damn well regretted it. Now I found myself standing alone, waist deep in a warm lake that was spotted with the light of the stars above.

Gods. So Terra had Gods huh. Did that mean Gaia had Gods as well? So much for all that love and mercifulness bull-crap I'd heard preachers on the streets of Lindblum spout. Blank had been right, those stories told to schoolchildren or in the churches on Sunday mornings were nothing but just that: stories.

"_When the people of Terra had failed, when their technologies failed, they realised there was only one way to save themselves-"_

I clamped my hands over my ears, but it did nothing to drown out Mikoto's voice in my mind.

"_They prayed. Tirelessly, day after day. The survivors gathered in their dying cities and begged for mercy until eventually their prayers were answered."_

"_But nothing comes without a price."_

I had sometimes wondered exactly how Garland had managed to do what he did – to create the genomes. He had said it had been his duty to over watch the planet until it's time of resurrection through the assimilation of Gaia. I'd assumed he'd drawn the short straw, but now I saw it was almost a divine mission he'd been granted. Unfortunately, the Gods were just a little fucked up in what they were asking him to do. So naturally, anything he created would be just as fucked up too. His Angel wouldn't have the golden halo and feathery wings I'd seen painted on church walls. No, Garland's Angels would be monsters. Killers. Just as twisted as he was.

My body went cold with the thought that perhaps that too was my destiny. This thing was going to hunt me down and keep on killing unless I did as it commanded – or I stopped it altogether.

So that begged the question: how does one kill a God?

My head began to hurt again.

"_The people of Terra were put into a deep sleep, and while their bodies withered alongside their planet, their souls remained alive within them. They were waiting, waiting for a new home and new bodies to inhabit..."_

But the people of Terra no longer had a home. The genomes weren't around to be "re-ensouled" either. I guess the solution to this little problem had been obvious.

Follow them to Gaia.

I dipped low into the water and let it run over my head, washing away the dirt and grime nestled in my hair. There was just one thing I didn't understand...

If he had followed us for the genomes, to continue with the revival of Terra's people, why put the genomes at risk? I knew why he needed me. I was his Angel of Death. Kuja's replacement. Something wasn't quite right...

"You know, you stay in there too long you're going to get all prune-y."

I jumped, accidentally swallowing a mouthful of water as I spun on the spot.

There she was again, perched like a bird on the top of a small boulder. Her legs swinging to and fro and as she smiled at me with Dagger's lips.

"You!" I spluttered as she rolled her eyes.

"Oh let's not do this again," she sighed, "Honestly, I came here to ask you a question."

She gaped at me when I stuck my tongue out, only to laugh as I reached up and deftly pulled a piece of a weed from the back of my throat.

"How's this," I croaked, "You give me some answers first, and then I'll consider answering yours."

"Doesn't seem like a particularly fair deal..." she mused, placing one perfect finger to her chin in mock thought. I had to force myself to look away. Damn it had been so long since I'd seen Dagger, and the way this doppelgänger just sat there so brazenly made me long for her all the more.

"Considering what I've been through lady, I don't much care about what's fair."

She paused for a moment before sliding off the bolder. Her fingers hitched up an imaginary skirt as curtsied with a grin, "As you wish. Shoot."

I didn't beat around the bush.

"Are you one of Terra's Gods?"

Her nose wrinkled in disgust. "Gods _no!_ My turn-"

"Hey wait," I interrupted, "What are you then?"

"Ah ah, one question at a time. So why didn't you tell your adorable little sister about our... brief encounter."

Looking back, the sheer absurdity of the situation should have occurred to me. But it didn't. Talking to this girl, in the middle of a lake while stark-naked, it almost felt like a dream. And in a dream anything goes.

I shrugged at her. "If I'm honest... I thought I'd hallucinated the whole thing, taken one too many bumps on the head. Hell, maybe I have. Maybe you're not even real and I'm talking to a mulberry bush right now." A pretty damn hot mulberry bush.

She laughed. It was off-putting how she looked exactly like the Princess but had none of her mannerisms. Dagger's laugh was quiet and demure. Hers was like something you'd hear behind a bar.

"I can assure you I am very real."

I rubbed my eyes tiredly, "I'm not sure which is worse."

"Yes well, I also have a request you see..." she practically sang, "Oh no, nothing too strenuous, I just ask that you continue to keep our little rendezvous between us. It's important my presence is kept secret, for now anyway."

"Secret from who?" I asked, "Mikoto?"

She suddenly looked ever so slightly sheepish, and for once I could have thought I was looking at the real Dagger. Leaning forward so her toes were touching the waters edge, she beckoned me over. I waded towards her reluctantly. Her eyes twinkled as she cupped one hand around my chin and placed her lips to my ear.

"From everyone." she whispered.

And then she was gone.

"Damn it!" I bellowed, kicking up a spray of water. What answers had I received? Did it even count when something you thought was a figment of your imagination denied the accusation? I honestly thought I was going crazy.

Throwing myself back into the water I scrubbed my body hastily. I didn't want to leave the others for too long, already I'd failed to protect them. In their state of grief I wasn't sure if the Mages would be capable of protecting themselves from the wild animals of the forest. We were only halfway to Conde Petite and none of us had supplies. What's more, I craved the warm sheets of a bed. The blissful escape of sleep.

I dressed quickly, leaving my hair to dry loose around my shoulders, and headed back toward our makeshift camp for the night.

I hadn't seen or spoken to Mikoto since our discussion in the clearing. I assumed she was tactfully giving me time to adjust to her revelations. As far as I was concerned the more distance she kept right now the better. Being in her presence made me feel uneasy, but it wasn't like I could kick her out on her own.

Belting up my tatty trousers, I slung my boots over my shoulder and wandered bare foot along the short path. I'd let the others wash and prepare themselves in the morning, then we'd continue to Conde Petite. After that...

Well, I honestly didn't know.

* * *

AN: I think this is my favourite chapter. Disclaimer: Copyright to Square.

EDIT: 2.11.10 – this story is undergoing a few changes since the plot sort of ran off without me, which is why Chapter Eleven has been removed. There will be no significant changes to previous chapters.


	11. The Boat Of Revelations

Chapter Eleven: The Boat Of Revelations.

We must have been a sight. Slowly dragging our butts over the bridge into Conde Petie as the sun drifted across the sky. The villagers immediately began tending to us, offering food and a bed. Even to the Genomes. I managed to inhale two bowls of soup, not bothering to ask what concoction had been put in it. It tasted vaguely chicken-y, that was all I needed to know.

That night I found myself wandering in the direction of a certain ceremonial room. It's funny, I didn't think something as simple as a _boat _could make my heart and stomach switch places like it did. I guess that's the effect of a life with nothing to attach yourself too. You didn't end up with memories that could take your breath away like a kick in the gut.

The room was lit only by moonlight, giving the place an eerie glow. Everything seemed brighter, harsher. I walked to the spot bathed most in light, the place Dagger and I had undergone our fake marriage.

I'd bet, in this light, Dagger's hair would shine like silk.

This is the part where'd I'd make some sarcastic comment about sounding like a girl. Or Cinna. But honestly... _I missed Dagger_. I missed the whole gang. And for the life of me... I couldn't figure out why I hadn't fought tooth and nail to get back to them by now.

I slumped myself down inside the boat, hiding in the only shadowed corner. It had all gone down hill from here. We'd gone on to fight Kuja a whole bunch of times and got our butts kicked. Dagger lost her mother and inherited an entire kingdom. Our lives were pretty much turned upside down.

And now... now I had some psycho _God_-like thing after me. I couldn't even trust my own sister any more. And I'm sitting here, in the dark, like some hair-brained loser.

So, I need to come up with a plan. Part one was to find out everything I could about Destructo-boy. Mikoto would probably be my best bet, although I had a funny feeling she wouldn't be to giving with the answers.

Part two... I needed to know how much fire-power I'd need to bring down that son-of-a-bitch. Kuja was bad enough, but at least we were of the same origin. So killing a God – if that's what he really is – I'm guessing it's going to be tricky.

"You can say that again."

Then again... maybe Mikoto wasn't my only option.

"I'm beginning to think you're stalking me." I say to the faux-Queen of Alexandria standing at my feet. "Are you here for more cryptic fun? 'Cause honestly sweet-cheeks, I'm not in the mood for bullshit."

She laughed.

"I thought, instead of watching you stew over minor details and wasting precious time, I'd actually offer you some assistance."

I raised both my eyebrows. "Whoop-dy doo."

The smile slipped into something colder, but I didn't really care. She knelt in front of me, her hands hovering in the air over my thighs. "You shouldn't mock me. I could be the difference between victory and defeat for you."

Suddenly, I cared. Fighting the urge to move away, I cocked my head to the side. "Is that so. 'Cause so far all you've done is... well, nothing!"

"Perhaps you should ask... politely."

I was feeling uncomfortable. Those brown eyes were burning just a little too brightly, not quite angry but...

"What can you do to help? I don't even know who... or what... you are?" I said slowly.

The smile on her lips was dry, knowing. "It's unimportant who I am. What I can do for you however... let me give you an example."

Before I could so much as blink, her hands pressed themselves firmly to either side of my temples. In that instant, a flash of pain ran through my mind. But it was followed by a strange calmness, as if I was drifting off to sleep.

Suddenly, I was awake. Wide awake. And standing on a platform in a huge room that seemed to stretch on forever. Below me were thousands upon thousands of blue lights. Some strong, others fading. It could only have been moments that I stood there, trying to figure out what I was looking at when I saw a shape moving through the lights.

"Hey!" I called out, but the shape seemed not to notice me. My voice didn't even echo back to me around the room.

"That's because, technically, you don't exist in this moment in time. Not yet. You're not really here."

Dagger appeared beside me, her hands clasped behind her back as she observed her surroundings blankly. "Would you like a closer look?"

Before I could answer, her hands grasped my arm and we vanished from the platform. Within the same moment we were standing between the lights. Except... they weren't lights. They were... sort of... pods. Glowing pods.

Although My brain was telling me not to, my feet couldn't help but move closer as my hand reach out to touch the shining surface. It was warm, and soft. Moulding to the shape of my hand. Inside, through a thick gel like substance... something moved. Jerking as if waking from a sleep.

"What...?" I whispered.

"That," Dagger answered, "Is an original inhabitant of Terra. You're standing in what Garland refers to as 'Limbo'..."

I felt sick. "You've brought me back in time, to see this, why?"

"Not quite. We've not gone anywhere. This is merely a memory."

"Yours?"

She didn't reply. Instead the light faded into blackness and when I blinked, we were back in the moonlight in Conde Petie.

"I don't understand." I told her flatly, "Who was that... Garland!" I realised.

She nodded solemnly. "He was still young then, he still had hope that Terra could be saved before its destruction. Before he knew of Gaia and hatched his plan to create Kuja... and yourself."

Dagger sat herself in the opposite side of the boat, although we were still close enough to touch. I felt a little weird, like my bones had turned to jelly.

"Did your time in Memoria teach you nothing Zidane. All memories are linked, they are created and return to one source..."

"The Crystal..." I murmured. "But that was destroyed by Kuja."

She smiled almost pityingly, "He certainly tried. But something as ancient and powerful as The Crystal cannot be destroyed. It is damaged, yes. The Life Link of all Creation is wounded and bleeding, but as life continues it shall heal itself and continue to grow."

"And that's why I can see that memory... Garland's memory."

She nodded. "Have you ever heard the saying that knowledge is power?"

"Sure, but smarts don't come in handy when you're up against a blade."

"Just what I expected someone of your level of ignorance to say."

"Hey-!"

"Just hush yourself for one moment. I'm about to give you everything you need, starting with who the creature who destroyed your village is. Let me tell you about Terra's Watchers."

* * *

Holy Cow. I'm ALIVE! I won't bore you with details, but I am finally able to get back to writing after one Heck of a year. I hope there are still some people around who might want to know who Zidane's mysterious stalker is... any guesses?

Disclaimer: All right to Square. I own nothing.


	12. A Closer Enemy

Chapter Twelve: A Closer Enemy.

It took a moment for her words to sink in.

"Terra's... what now?"

"Watchers." she repeated. Slowly.

"In case you didn't notice, that guy did a little more then watch. And what the hell is he – it – doing on _my_ planet with _my_ face?"

The fake Dagger placed one leg over the other, leaning back on her elbows to observe. It was a movement that reminded me that she was just some kind of illusion. My Dagger would have found her most inappropriate. Or something like that.

Yet, this person who stole the face and body of a woman I yearned for every damn day... I trusted her. In fact, I think I felt some weird connection to her that my instinct was telling me not to explore.

I took a deep breath. "Just... tell me everything."

She'd barely had time to blink when a scream shattered the heavy silence. Then another, and another...

When I heard the sound of clash of swords and explosions coming from the entrance way to the Iifa Tree I just knew that this wasn't an attack from the Watcher. This was something more familiar.

I didn't even look back as I leapt from the boar, landing neatly on my feet as I withdrew my blade. I seemed to fly through the corridors, taking only seconds to close in on those damn stupid morons that call themselves Alexandria's army.

"Stop!" I bellowed, finding myself face to face with at least a dozen swords suddenly pointed at my throat. "It's me! Zidane!"

In the darkness they couldn't see my face, and apparently nor could they hear my voice.

"Take him! He's one of them!" was all I heard before I sickening thud met my ears. I realised it had come from the hilt of a sword striking my temple in the moment before I blacked out.

* * *

A flame suddenly appeared in the darkness sending snakelike shadows over the floors and walls. The wall of soldiers parted as it neared, held aloft by a man hidden beneath a thick red robe.

"Sir, is it him? The one you've been looking for?"

The man moved the fire he had conjured in his gloved hand closer to the unconscious boy. Blood coated the side of his face and dripped onto the floor.

He hissed as he inhaled, taking in the scent of the blood. "Take him. Keep him away from the others." he ordered, his deep voice echoing down the black hall. "Round up the others and put them out of my sight."

His soldiers moved without hesitation, binding Zidane's hands and feet. The robed man watched from beneath his hood as they carried Zidane's limp and bloodied body from the village, musing on how easy it had been to locate him after Queen Garnet's tireless searches had found nothing. It just proved that playing by the rules got you nowhere.

Loud footsteps approached. "Lord Azrial, what would you have us do with then natives? They're of no use to you, is that correct?"

Azrial withdrew his hand beneath the folds on the robe, extinguishing the flames. "Correct. They have no use." His boots thudded heavily on the floor, the sound of chains rattling with each step.

The soldier lowered his visor and hoped his lord had not seen the hope in his eyes that this would not end the way he had expected. But Azrial was a simple man who did simple things.

What could be more simple then removing that which he deemed unnecessary and useless. Permanently.

* * *

**A.N: **I know this is a very short chapter, but I've finally kicked the block I've had on this story. This may be the fifth version of this chapter and has created a whole new plot line from what I had originally planned. But a better one!

Oh, the robe guy is not the Watcher, but someone much cooler in my opinion.


	13. The Man In Red

Chapter Thirteen: The Man In Red.

I woke, unsurprisingly, with a splitting headache. One which grew worse when I tried to bring my hand to my throbbing temple and realised they, along with my feet, were tied tightly enough that my fingers were almost numb.

I opened my eyes, cracking the drying wall of blood coating my left eye.

I was lying on the floor of an almost empty storage room with not a single window and only one heavy looking door. A few barrels and crates were scattered around, fixed to the walls and floor. I could hazard a guess and say that meant I wasn't on land but in some sort of vehicle. Most likely a boat as I couldn't hear the sound of an airship's engine. Taking a guess, I'd say I was in a room below the sea line. Hence the lack of windows. The only light came from a lantern that slowly swayed from the ceiling, casting a dim useless light over everything.

My tail was still loose and I was able to use it to push myself up. I slumped back against the wooden wall as a wave of sickness temporarily blinded me. My mouth was dry and I ached like hell. I can guess whoever brought me here were none to gentle about it.

_A man in red robes, fire in his hand-_

The image flashed in front of me, blurry and dreamlike. When had that happened?

My bleeding head throbbed as if dropping a giant, painful hint. I tried to remember more, trying to piece together what had happened.

I'd been with the fake Dagger... people had screamed and then I saw... soldiers?

Alexandrian? I'd thought so because of their armour, but in the darkness I must have seen wrong.

My blood ran cold when I realised I didn't know where the other Genomes were. Or the Mages. Chiyo... Mikoto... were they on the boat to?

There wasn't much time to wonder. Loud, clunking footsteps quickly approached the door. I heard the twist and click of a key before it swung open with an eerie whisper.

Only one entered the room, moving without the clanking of armour but with graceful and measured steps. The soft clinking of chainmail triggered some vague memory of a dark corridor.

This was the guy. The man in red.

"You've been sleeping for quite some time."

His voice was a deep, dry monotone. As the light swung in his direction I saw the faintest hint of a scar on what little was exposed of his throat.

"In case you hadn't realised," I replied, gesturing to my head with both hands, "not my fault."

I gave the guy a quick once over. He stood like a well trained and experienced warrior. Straight backed, one leg slightly more forward then the other as if bracing himself for attack. His hand rested on the hilt of a large sword strapped to his side. Something told me now was not the time for pissing him off with jokes about compensating for something.

I tried to place his face. He looked at lot like Amarant, tall and built with muscle. A square face with dark eyes framed by thick brown hair. In truth, he was like giant next to me. But bigger meant slower. Or so I thought.

His thin lips smirked, "It was surprisingly easy, rounding up you and those children. Their defences were pathetic."

I bared my teeth, feeling the fur on my tail stand on end. "If you hurt them-"

He barked a short, sharp laugh. "Of course we hurt them. Your little Mage friends fled as we began to slaughter them. Even the Dwarfs tried to take a stand. Not that it did them any good."

I couldn't help it. Bound and injured, I still threw myself at him with my empty hands raised and clawing. It took less then a second for his own hand to rise, take me by the throat and slam me back against the wall. Still I thrashed and snarled, trying to bite and kick. I felt something. Something more then fury and grief. It came from deep inside my body, my mind. My skin began to glow.

"I wouldn't if I were you," he said softly, drawing close. "Trance is quite unpredictable. You'd take out this wall if you transformed, drowning everyone on this ship. Including all your friends. Wouldn't that be just terrible?"

Luckily I was still able to think straight and pushed down those burning feelings, letting the light fade. How I wanted to tear this man's skin from his bones one piece at a time.

"Who the fuck are you?" I growled as he released my throat. I fell at least a foot back on to the floor.

Apparently satisfied with his display of the current balance of power between us he turned away from me, moving towards the door. "It would make no difference for you to know, Zidane Tribal. I suggest you take the time on this journey to rest and think of more pleasant things. I cannot guarantee you have a great deal of time and I would hate to see you waste it. Life is brutally short, after all."

The door closed with a loud thud behind him as the lantern's light shivered briefly before dying out, leaving me alone in the darkness with only my racing thoughts and a growing sense of dread in my heart.

* * *

A/N: A little bit longer of a chapter, I may combine this with the previous chapter as I don't really like having them so short. I don't want to drag anything out and have people getting bored, but we're getting to the heart of this story. Any thoughts, feelings or suggestions? Let me have it!


	14. A Strange Alliance

Chapter Fourteen: A Strange Alliance.

I tried to keep track of the days. Every minute passed by painfully slow, yet the hours all seemed bleed into each other.

The sounds of the ship were my only clue. The more noise I heard left me to assume it was day, when it went quiet... well, that was when the dreams would start. Dreams of explosions, screams, bloodshed and smoke.

I didn't see a single soul for those few days, possibly weeks, who knows. My only contact with another person came when guards would bring me food and water. I think it was drugged at first, but as I grew weak with hunger and exhaustion I'm sure they stopped bothering.

My time as a captive on that boat is mostly just a haze. But I still remember one particular dream, although I don't remember having fallen asleep. Faces begun to flicker through my mind, those that belonged to old friends and enemies when suddenly one face in particular appeared in front of me. Pale and ghostlike with a long mane of white hair.

"I thought I remembered you being taller," I told my Kuja-apparition.

"I don't recall you being so weak. It really has gone all down hill without me hasn't it, little brother."

"Bite me."

He laughed, a sound that once grated on my nerves was never more welcome. "Remember your manners now, if you were taught any on this broken down planet. I'm here to help after all."

Shackled, starved, filthy and sickly... I decided I would take my chances as they came. Even if it were from the illusion of my former, currently deceased arch nemesis. Weirder things had happened to me over the past few months.

Kuja knelt in front of me, his long hair pooling around him as he fixed with a cold stare.

"Allow me to point out a few key points before we execute a plan. Number one, you are too weak."

Rolling my eyes I scoffed, "Duh."

"Whilst your strength grew during our many battles your wit seems to have wilted dear brother. Now, point number two... how many can you save?"

"Your definitely some brain-dream of mine," I mumbled, "the real Kuja wouldn't have given a damn about any one else."

Kuja tilted his head at me, his blue eyes abnormally bright in the darkness.

"So I didn't devote my life to finding a way to save our perishing race?"

I smirked, "Nope. You wanted power. Power over Garland; over death. Over life itself in the end. That's what killed you."

A moments silence as he seemed to quietly contemplate my words.

"Touche. Moving on."

I closed my eyes to the dream. Enough was enough. I was sure these hallucinations were just signs of my impending death, either by some gruesome murder or starvation. I don't really know which I'd have preferred. Already very weak, it wouldn't take much to finish me off now-

"Hey!" I leapt from my skin as two cold hands cupped my face.

"Enough of your pitiful thoughts," Kuja hissed, his face close enough that I could feel his breath on my skin.

"Dreams can't touch me..." I managed to mumble, exhaustion battling with shock.

"Your mind is more powerful then you think." Kuja's grip grew stronger, as if he were trying to crush my jaw. "You have the strength of an entire planet locked within you. You were born to be an Angel of Death, yet here you are, coated in filth at the mercy of some mercenary."

"I don't know what you're talking about," I growled, trying to pull my face free. His hands were like a vice. "I was raised a petty thief. A Gaian. I don't have that power."

Light blue eyes sparkled at me. Thin lips grinning serpent-like. "Ah. But _I_ do."

With that, his hands seemed to crush my mind. I felt his sharp fingers pierce the skin and bone of my temples and invade the tissue that hid beneath. My eyes rolled violently in their sockets, my body convulsing furiously. I thought I was screaming, but as no guard investigated the sound.

The pain subsided slowly, taking what felt like a life time. I could feel every part of my body shake and protest against whatever it was that was coursing through my blood. It felt alien, yet so familiar.

As suddenly as it had started, it stopped. I found myself oddly awake and hyper aware to the sounds of the ship and the feel of the wood beneath me. I blinked slowly. I felt... renewed. I sat up without the nausea and head spin I'd been suffering lately. I flexed my legs, my tail. They were suddenly strong again, strong enough to let me stand.

I held out my hands, frowning at the binds that had cut and bruised the skin before but which were now smooth and clean.

"_Unbind them..."_

The voice didn't come from somewhere in the room. It whispered to me from within my own mind.

"Kuja?"

"_Will it and let it be so..."_

Without hesitation I focused on the chains, picturing it breaking in two. It shivered, clinking quietly before a sudden thunk met my ears. Without me having to so much as touch them the chains lay at my feet in two parts. Looking closer I noted that it was a clean break.

"How?" I asked... myself, Kuja... I don't know. What I did know was this: I was free, I wasn't just healed but stronger then ever before... and I had the voice of my arch nemesis invading my mind.

"_Is that any way to thank your rescuer?"_

"Is this Hell?" I growled, "Cause if it is then I think I'd prefer the fire."

"_Enough. We don't have time for your childish banter. We're running out of time."_

"Look dude," I said out loud. Was it necessary to speak out loud? "What in the name of Gaia is going on here? I've almost been crushed by giant living tree, blown up, beat up, chained up and kidnapped. And now I'm getting mind raped by your ghost – or whatever the hell you are – not to mention my on-off stalker who so far has proved to be as helpful as a rubber nail then anything else going on at the moment!"

"_Are you quite finished?"_

I took several deep breaths. "Think so."

"_Excellent. To begin with, I am not a ghost. I am a Soul. Lost and wandering, torn between two worlds as the Iifa Tree threw life's balance into chaos in the throes of deat-"_

"And who's fault is that?"

"_Do you want answers or not?"_

I rolled my eyes.

"_Anyway... without certain... forces in existence it became evident that my Soul had become lost in death. As have many others following my... misdeeds."_

"Hmm." Was all I dared mutter. What goes around truly does come around then eh.

"_I was able to get a hold of myself much quicker then the others, in a matter of speaking. Thus I could appear to you as the apparition you saw moments ago."_

"Where exactly does the brain rape come in?"

"_Such vulgarity," _Kuja sniffed. I could sense his disdain in the back of my mind like a lingering headache. "_The longer I remained in a corporeal form the more I weakened. I began to fear that I would truly disappear... truly die."_

"And you thought it would be a great idea to come piggy back on your little brother's meat sack. Wonderful!" I snapped. I didn't like the way this was sounding. So desperate... and dare I say it: permanent.

"_Yours was the only one I could sense that could withstand my power-"_

"Modest, aren't you."

"_Well from the looks of things you are in dire need of all the help you can get. Be it from friends or enemies. Where exactly are your... friends?"_

I bared my teeth at his tone, "What are you implying?"

"_I was under the impression that yours was a merry band of interfering do-gooders. Isn't this the time they'd be expected to come racing to your aide?"_

"They would. They just don't know I'm in need of any at the moment." I responded as controlled as I could while Kuja continued to hit the metaphorical nerve that was my apparent abandonment.

"_Oh dear. It's all rather ironic isn't it. All you have now is the man they once fought to save you from. I do enjoy a good twist"_

"You could have just let me die, you know." I sighed, rubbing my temples. "But then again, if I'd died then so would you. Looks like we need each other. So shut it with the smugness and let's get our tails out of this damn hole."

"_Indeed. Just one more thing I'd like to add..."_

"Well don't keep me in suspense, it's only a matter of life and death you know."

"_I've just bestowed you with all the power of The Crystal – all that I could absorb before destroying it anyway. Surely you'd like a few lessons as to how to harness such strength?"_

I froze. Power of The Crystal? I assumed he's done some sort of merge of his life energy – wasn't that what Chiyo called it? But The Crystal... The Crystal _was_ life.

"_And now it is you. So brace yourself little brother... the Angel of Death and Crystal of Life merging as one... delicious!"_

Disclaimer: I do not own final fantasy 9.


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